


Love, Huh?

by summerbreezeyy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Past Domestic Violence, Polyamory, Romantic Friendship, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25296451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbreezeyy/pseuds/summerbreezeyy
Summary: After life fucked you up you ended up living with your best friend Oh Sehun and his bandmates Do Kyungsoo and Park Chanyeol. Feelings got involved in your friendships and somehow, no one knows how, you dated each other.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol/Reader, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Reader, Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun/Reader, Park Chanyeol/Reader
Comments: 30
Kudos: 61
Collections: R's EXO





	1. Chapter 1

“It doesn’t look good. He hasn’t stopped drinking since an hour ago.”

You cursed under your breath chewing your bottom lip in nervousness. “Okay thanks for letting me know,” you replied back before hanging up.

_Shit, shit_ you thought. Your hands were shaking, minds full of fear. You knew if he left the club right now, he would reach this apartment in 15 minutes on foot. You also knew that if you didn’t act fast enough, you’d _die_. So you sprinted to your shared bedroom, packing whatever you could bring with you. But while you were filling your bag with some cash he stashed, you thought _where would I go?_

So you went bag to the living room, calling the only one you could think about, Oh Sehun.

.

Sehun’s brows were furrowed. He looked deep in thought until he felt someone tap his shoulders that he looked back and saw Kyungsoo.

“Dinner’s ready,” Kyungsoo informed and left Sehun’s room after the younger nodded at him.

Sehun got up from his seat and reached his phone on his bed to follow his hyung’s steps. When they were seated at the table, Sehun realized his phone was dead. He left his seat to the sofa and unplug whoever’s phone was connected to the charger to plug his in. 

“Hey,” he earned a disapproving glare from Chanyeol when he saw it.

Sehun grabbed Chanyeol’s phone and hand it to him, “It’s full,” while sticking out his tongue only for the taller do the same to him. Kyungsoo muttered something like “I’m the only adult in this house” under his breath while putting down their dinner on the table.

“You’re still writing the lyrics?” Chanyeol asked handing Sehun some dirty dishes -it was Sehun’s turn tonight-

“Yeah. Still stuck on the second verse. I’ll give it to you when it’s done.”

“Okay. Just let me know if you need any help,” Chanyeol replied. Before Sehun could get a word out Chanyeol continued “with the lyrics not the dishes,” he smiled giving the younger a pat on his back while walking out of the kitchen.

Sehun just pouted and continued to do his dishes. When he finished he went to the living room to check his phone to find out that he missed a call from you. So he laid down on the sofa to call you back.

“Okay what’s tonight’s genre?” Chanyeol said loudly to his two bandmates.

Kyungsoo didn’t look up from his laptop to reply, “Anything less than 1 hour, I gotta finish up my lyrics.”

Chanyeol then turned to look to Sehun who was still waiting for you to pick up the phone, “I’m down for anything.”

“Okay! Porn it is!” He cheered. “Ow! I’m kidding! We’re watching Running Man okay,” he scowled and rubbed his head after two pillows were thrown (one was smashed at the back of his head since Sehun was closer) at him.

Meanwhile Sehun gave up calling you after you failed to pick up twice, so he decided to enjoy his little solace before having to beat his brain out to write lyrics for their new songs.

About 30 minutes into the show Sehun’s phone lit up, showing your name as the caller. He picked up immediately.

“Hey, sorry my phone died. You need anything?”

Instead of hearing your voice, someone else’s spoke up. “Are you a friend or family of this phone’s owner?”

Sehun slowly sat up from his position, slightly worried at why someone else is using your phone. He tried to eliminate the worst scenarios in his head and tried to convince himself maybe you left your phone somewhere and this gentleman picked it up. But even after trying to convince himself of that, his heart was still pounding in his chest. 

“Sir?” the voice called out after Sehun failed to respond.

“Oh yes, I’m sorry. I’m her friend. Is there something wrong?” he almost whispered the last sentence, clearly terrified at what the answer could be. At this point, his friends was alarmed of his changed mood and pale face, Chanyeol lowered the TV’s volume and Kyungsoo kept his gaze at Sehun. They can’t help but to be nervous at the youngest unusual respond of a call. They knew Sehun had one female friend only, and that’s you. So him freezing at your call was something weird.

“Sir I’m a police officer,” Sehun’s heart dropped at that. “I’m calling from a hospital,” he felt like throwing up. “Your friend is currently unconscious and being treated in the Emergency Room as we speak. I would need you to come down here to fill some files and ....,” Sehun couldn’t really hear the rest of the officer’s words. His head was spinning and he couldn’t think. He tried to stand up but failed horribly only to be held up by Chanyeol.

“Hey anything wrong?” Kyungsoo asked softly holding his other side.

“Hospital. I need to go to the hospital. She.. I.. Shit I don’t know what happened to her.”

Kyungsoo threw a look at Chanyeol and the latter went rushing to their bedrooms. Kyungsoo sat Sehun down and quickly grabbed a glass of water to him. 

After finishing his water, Chanyeol came back with 3 jackets and his car keys in hand. Chanyeol put on his jacket, and gave the other two theirs. Sehun copied his hyungs’ actions with a blank stare. They then left their apartment hurriedly with no words exchanged. 

When they reached the garage, Sehun’s legs failed him and he fell on his bottom. Kyungsoo told Chanyeol to go get the car while he came closer to the youngest.

When he kneel in front of Sehun, the latter's eyes were wide and his hands were shaking. “Hyung what if she.. I .. if she di.. hyung I swear I.. what would happen to her, hyung I..”

Kyungsoo just took his hand and hugged him. “She’s strong. She’ll get through everything.”

Chanyeol then helped Sehun who was still lifeless into the car. On the way to the hospital, he kept checking his best friend’s face through the rear-view mirror, Sehun’s face was ghastly. He tried to go faster and his grip on the steering wheel was tight and he chewed his inner cheeks out of nervousness. Right now he was worried not just about Sehun, but also about you.

On his side Kyungsoo also shared the same concern. Occasionally he would look back on Sehun only to find nothing changed. Still the same position, the same expression, though one time he looked back a tear came out of Sehun’s eye. On times he didn’t check on Sehun, he would bite down his nails. Somehow even after about a year you rarely hang out with Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, they still cared greatly about you. 

When they arrived tho, Sehun’s demeanor changed. He bolted through the door and ran into the hospital. The other two chased him to the ER while he opened up every curtains to try finding you. Chanyeol ran over to him to calm him down while Kyungsoo asked a nurse about you, the girl that came with the police.

After she showed Kyungsoo your almost lifeless body Kyungsoo stopped breathing for a minute. Your hands were covered with bruises. Fresh and healing ones. There were hand marks over your neck. Your lip was cut and your face was starting to swell. There was dried blood on your hair and face. Your left temple was covered by a gauze. 

He couldn’t muster enough strength to call over his friends until Chanyeol spotted him and dragged Sehun along with him. Needless to say, their reactions were similar. The nurse came back and asked one of them to follow her to fill in your info and another one could meet the doctor for an explanation. Sensing Sehun wouldn’t move anytime soon, Chanyeol grabbed a chair and made Sehun sat on it while he and Kyungsoo left to follow the nurse.

“Can you meet the doctor? I.. I don’t think I could hear what happened to her,” Chanyeol said softly to Kyungsoo while they were tailing the nurse.

Kyungsoo nodded to respond and met the doctor in charge. He informed that you probably need to stay at the hospital for at least two weeks, and that you probably would be conscious in one or two days. He also informed that aside from the purple and blue bruises you had two broken ribs, and an open wound on your temple which the doctor would stitch later. He then brought Kyungsoo over to the office Sehun spoke to earlier.

Through the conversation he found out that a neighbor called the police after hearing screaming from you. Turned out, your boyfriend also called the ambulance after he smashed your head with a beer bottle, making you bleed and pass out. When the police arrived, he was kneeling and crying next to your unconscious body. He also told Kyungsoo he was arrested and that Kyungsoo and the others should convince you to press charges against him. 

Kyungsoo thanked both of them before returning to see Sehun sobbing into Chanyeol’s shoulders. Kyungsoo stood on your other side, taking your hand in his, and prayed that somehow this was just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! This is my first series, hope you guys like it. If it's bad, I'm terribly sorry :( I just like the idea of these three being bestfriends and dating the same girl soooo yeah. By the way yes this is a Y/N story, but I'll try my hardest not to use Y/N, idk it's kinda cringey for me to use Y/N sooo yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

"You done?" Sehun said knocking on the bathroom door.

For the last 2 weeks you've been in this hospital, woke up after almost 3 days since you passed out. Sehun cried -which something you haven't seen in a long time and made you cry too realizing how much you actually hurt him by being hurt- when you opened your eyes. And since then you have never been alone even though the boys were currently preparing for their new album. Some days it would be Kyungsoo who would make sure not even a piece of rice was left on your plates and also would sneak in some snacks for you to eat, the rest of the days would be Chanyeol who would show you funny videos or make you listen to songs they've made but yet released. And then Sehun, who would with one of the guys and never came alone. He would only sit silently on the sofa, looking at you somehow with worried, angry, and guilty looks at the same time while his friends would talk with you. He would only say something when talked to. Truth was, he felt guilty for not sensing anything wrong. He was also very mad at himself for not being able to protect you, something he always promised you since you became friends.

They would work on their album in your hospital room while telling you to eat, rest, and sleep. When the day you finally could go home, well to the guys' apartment since you don't really have other place to stay at -and they were very adamant they wouldn’t have it any other way-, Sehun picked you up alone, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had to record their parts he informed.

You looked at the mirror to see fading marks on your neck, arms, and face. The stitches were also fading, you almost looked normal. Maybe your body was becoming normal, but you haven’t dare to explore your emotions of what happened 2 weeks ago. You could only hope time would help you heal your heart. The guys surprisingly didn’t bombard you with questions right as you woke up. You knew you owe them some explanations and that their heads were full of questions.

You straightened your clothes -well Kyungsoo’s since all of yours were still at your place and his fits the best since the other two are basically giants- and again looked at the mirror. Somehow, looking at your almost healed wounds made your heart wrenched. You questioned yourself, how could you let him do what he did to you? Better one, why would you do things that pushed him to do what he did?

“Hey, you okay in there?” Sehun’s voice outside grew worried when you didn’t respond.

When you opened the door and saw his face, you couldn’t hold yourself to throw yourself into his arms. You hugged him tight putting your ear on heart to hear the sound of it beating, something you realized was something very calming and pleasant. He was stunned at first, before embracing your body, sharing his body and heart’s warmth.

Both of you stayed still in this position with him stroking your hair giving you more comfort before he pulled back and held your face in his palms with you still hugging his waist, needing his presence more than ever before. “You okay?” he said softly, looking deep into you.

You nodded before continuing “I just ... Thank you. For everything.”

“Anything for you, shorty” he smiled kissing the top of your head.

“Hey I was taller than you in middle school. Not my fault you grew up to be a pole.”

.

After some convincing and promises you would leave if he was home and Sehun muttering something like “I hope he’s home so I could show him what broken ribs feel like”, he drove you to your shared apartment with your boyfriend -well ex to be exact- to get your essential items, like your IDs, passport, etc.

Judging by the police line that was still sealed at your door, it did’t look like someone has returned to this house. After getting rid of the tape, you punched in your code with shaking hands, can’t help but to have flashbacks about the nights of your pain. Sehun noticed this and held your other hand in his. And when the door finally opened he took the first step and entered with you behind him. When his eyes spotted the broken glass and trace of dried blood his jaw clenched and his grip tightened.

Concluding no one was really home with the lack of sound and light, he asked where’s your bedroom and lead you both there.

“Um.. Sehun, you probably need to let go of my hand for me so I can work faster.”

He reluctantly did and you took the bag you didn’t finish pack that night. You put in your wallets, laptop, notes, clothes and some stuff you just wanted to bring along. Like hell you were gonna leave your SK-II essence or Anastasia Beverly Hills palette. “You forced me to drive you here just for your skincare and makeup?” Sehun teased with his arms crossed leaning his form to the doorframe.

“These are very expensive alright. Why don’t you make yourself useful and help me find my phone. It should be in the living room somewhere,” you replied while grabbing your huge ass suitcase to fit in more stuff. 

“Just buy a new one.”

“All of my contacts are there. And also tons of pictures I’m not willing to let go of.”

He rolled his eyes and started to move towards the living room. “Like what? Nudes?” 

“I think we both know who likes to take racy pictures out of the two of us.”

“Hey that wasn’t meant for you alright.”

Sehun came back after a few minutes, “Your screen’s broken.”

“Ah dang. Are you busy today? Could we like stop by the mall to fix it or get a new one or something?” You asked looking up while crouching next to the bed, trying to reach whatever was under the bed.

“Free as a bird. You need help?”

“Nope. I.... got it,” you said pulling out a black [box.](https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTAwMFgxMDAw/z/N6cAAOSwG6RfCoU1/%24_10.JPG?set_id=880000500F)

“Let me guess, your sex toys.”

“Oh honey, if I were into sex toys I wouldn’t just have one box, I’d make a room dedicated to them, Fifty Shades style.”

He snickered and got to his knee, watching you opening up the box. When you did though, he was shocked to see that it was completely filled with money. “Never heard of the bank missy?”

You shrugged, “Just feel safer to have cash than cards.” You put the box in your luggage. Deciding you’ve taken everything you bought with your own money and leaving all he gave you, you closed it. 

“All done?” Sehun grabbed your luggage and your other bag. 

“Yes.” And with that you got up. You were almost out of the door before you remembered something, “Wait!” Sehun looked behind only to see you taking some shoes with you. You grinned at him, showing him a worn out pair of shoes “This is the shoes you bought me with your first paycheck!”

He broke into a huge smile before turning on his heels, telling you to come out fast. Before you close the door to your past, you looked once into what caused you pain and happiness for the last year. 

.

“Have you called the guys about we’re eating out?” you asked Sehun as you finished ordering your food. He nodded at your question. “By the way, this is very private. Is this where celebrities go on dates?”

“Well the owner is also an idol, so he knows how hard it is for us to even just hangout with friends, let alone dating. Well for those who don’t want scandals yes, this is the safest place with private rooms and all.” You nodded at his explanation.

Both of you stayed quiet after that. Sehun looked like he wanted to ask you about everything but always stopped himself before he did. When you finished your food, you took a deep breath and called his name, making him look away from his leftover food he was playing with and looked into your eyes.

“Ask.” you commanded.

Sehun paused before asking “When did you quit Junmyeon hyung’s company?” _Okay he’s starting light_

“Almost a year ago I think.”

“Why? Was it.. him?” Sehun whispered the last word, clearly trying to avoid the sensitive topic.

“He did ask me to quit. But that wasn’t the main reason.”

“And what was it? I thought working at his company was your dream?”

“Well yes. Kinda irrelevant, but before we move on, the company is not his, it’s Mr. Kim Minseok’s.”

“But they’re brothers, the company is their family’s.”

“Yeah but technically Mr. Kim’s the one who ran the whole company, and on the other hand Mr. Kim deals with the magazine, not their....” you stopped talking as you caught Sehun’s unfazed face, clearly not caring about which Kim brothers was the owner. You sighed and continued, “I just felt uncomfortable with both of them that’s all.”

“What? What did they do?”

“Good things. Too good things. They would bring me food, offer me to lunch and dinner, giving souvenirs whenever they’re back from trips, giving me rides home, and all.”

Sehun’s brow furrowed deeper. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“What would you feel if you CEO sent you a flower bouquet and medicines because you were sick the day before or your supervisor’s boss chatting up to you at lunch like your best friends?”

“Happy?” 

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Normal people would feel uncomfortable. Cause other employees would talk, okay.”

“Did they? Talk? About you?”

“Oh yes they did.”

“Like what?”

“Like how I slept with both of them to get my job, which we both know isn’t true since you force-introduced me to them 2 months after I got hired. And it’s not like they weren’t professional on working time tho. I get scolded when my job wasn’t satisfactory, but gossip’s definitely more fun than fact so, I decided to quit and to start writing again. And it’s not like I needed more money. As you saw earlier I got enough and my boy.. ex-boyfriend is very rich like I told you.”

“Right, your ex.”

“Ask away, blondie.”

“Was it.. the first time?” he asked carefully.

“No.” You saw him blinked and clenched his jaw. 

“Did he do it.... often?”

“No,” you contemplated on how to tell him, and the only way for it to make sense is to tell from the beginning. “Okay, this is gonna be long. Questions after I’m done kay?” 

“Okay.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before starting your story. “Okay, so did you realized after the initial meeting between you, me, him, Chan and Soo oppa we don’t meet that often?” He nodded “And even when we did meet I asked you not to bring your bandmates cause I ‘wanted to spend more time with you’?” Again he nodded. “And did you notice how he got very touchy and would always keep his hands on me when we hung out?” At this he just looked at you confused. “Guess why.” 

You let him think and analyze the whole thing. It took him a couple of second before he got it. “He was jealous.”

This time you nodded. “When we got home after the first meeting, he was saying things like how all three of you have crushes on me and like me more than just friends, and how we’re too close as friends and stuff. So I argued back and we had a big fight that night which ended up giving me a broken rib and nose. I was ready to leave him. But he begged and apologized. And me being the stupid girl that I am, stayed. His jealousy didn’t get better tho, but he never hit me like that again. But in turn, when he got jealous he would be.. um.. really rough in bed. Like choking, spanking, and not the good kind. If he’s jealous I won’t be able to walk the next day because of the pain and forming bruises. And he got jealous of everything. Our calls, facetime, me talking about any of you, or even just admiring celebrities. But I thought, at least he didn’t hurt me outside of bed you know.”

You looked at Sehun’s red ears and his clenched fists on the table. You reached over and took his left one in your right, squeezing it lightly as if saying ‘But I’m okay now, don’t worry’

"He kinda tolerated you, since he knows how much you mean to me, and also because I told him you're gay, which he didn't believe somehow. So he just forced himself not to be jealous when we hang out or talk. But for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo oppa, honestly I did avoid them. I think I was afraid of what he would do to me if I didn’t. But then the night before _it_ happened, we ran into each other. And I’m pretty sure you all noticed how he got very protective of me since you jokingly said ‘chill dude, we’re not gonna take her’ which, he didn’t find funny by the way, he thought you were mocking him. When we were home, again we fought. And when he got angrier I threatened him I'd leave if he ever laid his hands on me again. So he left. At first I thought I was safe, we were okay. But then the club owner called and informed me that my ex spent the night at the club and was drinking a lot. The owner is a friend, so he called just to make sure everything’s okay. But when he told me my ex has been drinking more than he should, I had a feeling it would go bad. And that’s why I called you. But before you could pick up, he came home. We fought again, but I kept my space. I warned him again and again and again about leaving him. And he seemed to calm down, before my phone rings, and he saw the caller and he snapped.” You stopped, knowing it’s gonna be the hardest part to tell.

Sehun’s eyes doubled in size. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It was him who called.

You took both his hands, “And it’s not your fault. Never yours. Don’t you dare blaming yourself okay.”

His lips trembled, but he told himself he had to be strong for you. No matter how terrible this was for him, you still had it the hardest. So he let go of your hands and moved beside you. He looked to your eyes deeply and ask, “Were you scared?”

“Very.” And with that he took you in his arms.

You didn’t realize it, but you found yourself crying and sobbing on his chest. Finally you crumbled down. You felt broken and worthless. Maybe you did deserve all the hitting. Maybe you weren’t good enough for him or anybody.

You cried for few minutes before calming down. You pulled away and he wiped your tears. “You also can’t blame yourself for what happened. This is all him. You are amazing, beautiful, and deserve someone who treats you like the queen you are,” he stated, knowing fully well you were putting yourself down. “Don’t discredit yourself. You’re perfect just like how you are.”

Then he hugged you again, you let yourself be embraced into his grasp, letting him mend your broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 out! So I'm thinking of doing each chapter special for each boys. And the next one is the one and only Loey! And I did put a link for something I found quiet hard to explain. I don't think it's that important, you don't have to click or anything it's just easier for me to imagine the whole thing. So yeah please leave some comments about what you like and don't, it's kinda my first time actually trying to finish writing a fanfiction sooo yea. See ya!


	3. Chapter 3

You were scrolling through your phone’s gallery. At the mall you decided to get a new phone and to just move all the data you needed from your broken phone. You saw some photos that made your heart wrench. Your selfies with your ex. Yes he hurt you. You were stupid for staying yes. But you couldn’t lie to yourself, you loved him very much. Aside from his anger and jealousy and over-protective issue, he was a good boyfriend. And your heart actually ached for not having him around for 2 weeks. You knew going on without him is the best choice but couldn’t help to feel the loss over him.

“I’ll be fine,” you whispered to yourself, trying to convince yourself that you were, gonna be fine.

Next to you, Sehun shifted in his sleep and your waist was draped by his arm. You looked to your right and find the tired face of someone you know for a fact you can never live without. He was worried about you, all of the guys were, they even sacrificed their sleeping time to work on their album so they could spend time with you at the hospital, you could tell from the evident black shadows under their eyes.

Knowing you couldn’t fall asleep and didn’t want to bother Sehun with his much needed sleep, you slowly moved his arm and without making a sound made your way to the kitchen of their -well know yours also- shared apartment. You took out a glass of water and sat down at the sofa in the dimly lit living room to continue reminiscing moments you wanted to forget but also remember.

“Can’t sleep?” A deep voice emerged from the fourth bedroom, that they turned into a music/recording/I-need-to-work-alone room. Basically a room they like to hermit in, which is why you had to room with Sehun rather than to get your own bedroom.

You just nodded and threw him a smile after getting over the initial shock. He walked over to the kitchen, opened up the wine fridge and grabbed a bottle, not forgetting to snatch two wine glasses. He set the glasses on the coffee table in front of you and sit beside you. Then wordlessly opened up the bottle and poured it into the glasses.

“Might need something harder than water,” he handed you one glass.

You clank your glasses and drank. Damn this was good wine.

“It’s Kyungsoo’s. He bought it long time ago, saying we should have it for ‘special event’. We drank one glass each before switching to soju when he got his first acting gig and he said we should save this for another time. So, to protect my life, I would very much appreciate it if you don’t tell him any of this this,” he said winking.

You chuckled and finished up your first glass. “Want more?” you asked him when he finished his. He gave you his glass for you to fill up. “This wine is legit, tho. If we finished this tonight you think he would kill us?”

“Only me. He can’t even glare at you.” He muttered something like “You’re pretty much our weaknesses,” as he chugged down on his glass.

“Wow slow down there, big boy. You have schedule tomorrow right? Sehun told me.”

“Yes, and that’s why I’m just gonna have 3 glasses tonight.”

You smiled at him and enjoyed your wine. Both of you enjoying the silence. Or at least you thought. On the other side, Chanyeol was drinking with a lot on his mind. Their impending comeback, the rumor of a sub-unit to be formed in their group, his friends’ condition, you, your wounds, physically and mentally, and everything. He was not used to it, hiding away his feelings, but he knew he had to, for all of you, but mostly Sehun. The younger guy could be very closed up with his feelings, that’s why he made everyone worried for not saying or discussing anything with his hyungs after he cried when you woke up. But he was also worried about you. The way you told them everything after you arrived here, how your bottom lip shook when you explained to them what you told Sehun earlier, or how you grimaced when the effect of the pain killer faded away.

Chanyeol is a man of words, he likes to talk things out, to discuss everything, basically he loves to converse with people. He had to physically bite his tongue to not ask about things he wanted to ask. So he started easy, “Do you remember the first time we met?”

“You mean the night Sehun introduced me to the two of you at his house and he almost punched you when you tried to kiss me?”

“Hey I was drunk!”

You smiled at the memory, “You were, but you also had a huuuge crush on me.”

“Yes. A crush Sehun crushed with threats,” he pouts. “And how could I not! You were really pretty.”

“Hey.”

He snickered and ruffled your hair. “You’re still very beautiful.”

You huffed while pouring yourself another glass of wine. Silently hoping this could get you to sleep easier. “Wonder what your fans would think if they know their _oppas_ drank their first alcohol when they were only 15 years old.”

“Kyungsoo and I were 17, okay. You and Sehun were the 15’s. And it was Sehun’s fault for stealing his dad’s soju! Oh God when their parents found us passed out in his bedroom tho. And when we had to sit through the 3-hours lecture. I remember him not coming to the company for a whole week. I thought he was sent to priest school of something,” he laughed.

“Well if this career failed he should then. That’s the least he could do to thank God for giving him such nice parents. He was only grounded. And maybe you should too, since they were also really nice not to tell your parents.”

The red haired male grinned. You looked over to him and studied his profile. His prominent jawline, his nose, lips, and the big ears and eyes you adore. “Checking me out?” he smirked as he caught you staring.

The alcohol you consumed made your tongue loose and more brave, so you just kept staring and answered, “Well it is a nice view,” with a teasing tone.

Chanyeol didn’t answer, instead he also stared back at you. He danced his eyes around your face, going back between the eyes he loved to get lost in, and the lips he would very like to taste before focusing his gaze at your lips. He always wondered how to have your lips in between his, to savor your sweet taste that he knew he would be addicted to. He can’t help but to think how amazing it would be like to have you on his lap while making out. He knew where he would put his hands at, your hips as how he imagined a couple times after seeing you did the same to some guy in a club some years ago. And you would whimpered and begged him for more as you bit down his bottom lip. He would usually stop there, but once when he was very desperate for a release and videos didn’t give him the satisfaction, he did imagine how after that he would pinned you down on the bed and leaving marks on your necks. He would then play with your breasts that he knew he would never get tired of. He imagined how you would sighed out his name, moaning about how good he made you feel and how you wanted more of him. Chanyeol imagined how good you would taking his thrusts and how amazing it would feel like to slowly rock out your orgasms and to have you in his arms after you finished.

Having you sitting in front of him, blatantly enjoying checking him out didn’t help his mind from stopping the scenarios he created in his mind, he had to mentally slap himself and physically pinched his arm to stop the imagination. He knew it was wrong and awkward to think of you that way, but it’s not really his fault when you’re really pleasantly gorgeous and hot in his eyes.

Ignoring his hottening cheeks, he gazed into your eyes, not surprised when he found sadness in them. Gathering up his braveness, he opened his mouth and tried to speak as soft as possible, “You’re really not going to sue him?” He remember how angry everyone felt when you told the police you were dropping the case. How it bothered him your ex could still roam freely after doing what he did to you.

“Like I told you, he has money and the resources to win the battle.”

“But we have the evidence. And we have money, little birdie, in case you didn’t notice,” Chanyeol gestured his arms around their very nice apartment that you know costs a fortune to live in.

“You guys do. I don’t. And no I’m not using anyone’s money to sue my ex,” you paused to pour out more wine. “His dad might not care a lot about him, but when the media found out that his son abused his girlfriend and is being sued, he would be on the front line booking out the best lawyers in the country to defend him knowing it could affect his company. I’m not gonna go on a war I know I’m gonna lose.”

He sighed, knowing you were right. “But tell me honestly, are you really okay?”

This time you sighed. “Nope, not at all,” you smiled bitterly, looking down at your hands. “I feel.. empty? But I’m gonna be okay.” you turned to look at him, sounding uncertain.

Chanyeol didn’t say anything, he just moved towards you, kissing your forehead before embracing your body, “Yes. You’re one of the strongest people I know. We’ll get through this together.”

You pulled back to find his concerned expression. “Right. I will be just fine. Maybe not now but, someday,” you said, more like a convince to yourself.

“That’s our girl,” he kissed your temple again, smiling at you, trying to hide away his worries.

Feeling the need of more alcohol, you reached out for the wine bottle, but a hand stopped you. “Na’ah miss. Kyungsoo would notice if you drank too much and we wouldn’t live to see the daylight.”

You pouted and put down your glass. When you yawned, he tapped his thigh, signaling you to put your head there. So you complied. “I missed you guys so much you know,” you said as you lied on your side.

Chanyeol took your hair in his right hand and played with it, something he knows you love. “We did too.” Then his mind flied around, reminiscing the times all of you would hang out together. “Kyungsoo would be at the end of the sofa having your legs at his lap, and Sehun would sit in front of you, sometimes intentionally blocking your view of the movies, being the little shit that he is,” he laughed. It’s also funny that anyone could be in any positions, even Kyungsoo who one day was really tired put his head on Sehun’s lap with you massaging his legs while he slept through the movie. Watching movies together was definitely the favorite of everyone.

You smiled fondly at the memory, “Or when it’s horror movies you would _begged_ Kyungsoo to cuddle you and he would do it with his signature frown but would try to push you away when you hide your face in his neck.”

“Like you never used Sehun’s body to hide.”

“Well that’s why we decided horror is not for us.” You shifted and laid on your back, catching his eyes that were looking down at you. “I’m really sorry I made you guys worried.”

“You’re safe now, and that’s what matters.” He took your hand in his free one giving it a light squeeze, and you smiled at him. “Jongdae is coming back from his tour next week and we’re thinking of having a night out. You wanna come with?”

“Jongdae as in Kim Jongdae the brother of Mr Kims my boss? The Jongdae you used to write with? He went on a tour?”

“Yes, he finally became a solo singer. The last time you met him was what 3 years ago?”

“I think so. Is it okay for me to crash the party?”

“He would love to have more companies. He’s pretty much like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t have a lot of friends. We’re the closest things he has as best friends other than his brothers.” He noticed your eyes closing, so his right hand that previously was at your hair moved to softly caress your forehead, helping you sleep while his other hand kept mindlessly fiddling with your fingers.

“Kyungsoo has friends, oppa. He’s not a loner,” you replied half smiling, knowing he would be smacked in the back of his head if the shortest heard.

“Okay fine, he does have a lot of friends now like Baekhyun and his actor friends. But even the first time he hung out with those actors he didn’t want to go, I had to drive him there cause he was worried he would be awkward there. He is a loner, pumpkin.”

You chuckled and opened your eyes to see again him looking down at you. He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows, making his eyes even bigger as if asking ‘what?’. You shook your head before closing your eyes again, “Nothing. I just realized how lucky I am to call all three of you my best friends.”

Chanyeol smiled before saying, “Sleep, you’ve had a long day.” And with that, everything faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next part is Kyungsoo's chapterr! please comment on things you like and don't :):):)


	4. Chapter 4

You woke up feeling refreshed. Must be the alcohol from last night. It has been a long time since you’ve had any. And you gotta admit, Sehun’s bed was extremely comfortable, with lots of pillows and thick comforter, you remembered he used to have nightmares since he was young and needed to hug someone or something to help him sleep easily and nightmare-less. Chanyeol must’ve brought you here, since you fell asleep on his lap last night.

You checked your phone to find that it’s 11 am. There was a note at the bedside table with the messy almost-unreadable handwriting that you know by heart.

_‘Hey, we’re gonna work for the day. These are some numbers for deliveries. Don’t forget to take your med. Call us if you need anything._

_-S’_

You smiled reading the note. You recalled last night before he went to sleep he informed that you were going to be alone for today because they needed to do some finishing touches to the album. You almost laughed remembering Sehun’s frown when telling you all of this, clearly not liking how he had to leave you alone.

After shower and changed into your own clothes you walked out of the room and had some water. The apartment they lived in was very modern and expensive looking. It was also, surprisingly, very neat, considering 3 young guys lived here. But then again, you recalled how Kyungsoo would become very active with his words (and sometimes hands) every time the others would trash around. And they’ve been living together since their debut in 2012, so it made sense they would pick up each other’s habits. Even his neatness rubbed off on you after the constant sleepovers you’ve had until a year ago. Remembering how your ex basically forced you to stop hanging out with them made you mad at yourself. They were all that you’ve had, and you threw them away for someone who didn’t even treat you as good as they do.

Not wanting to think about him first thing in the morning, you decided to clean up the apartment. After finding the tools you needed, you vacuumed the living room. Feeling a bit bored, you borrowed whoever’s headphones on the couch and used it to listen to some music.

When Kyungsoo got home, his brows immediately furrowed together. Someone’s vacuuming, but their scheduled cleaner shouldn’t be here for another 2 days. Following the sound, he found you inside Sehun’s room, singing and dancing along to the music you were listening to with the vacuum in your hand. He couldn’t stop the corners of his lips going up, forming an amused smile.

“OH shit,” you cursed, completely shocked by the additional person in the house when you turned around.

He chuckled and took the vacuum from your hand, putting it away in the living room. “Someone cleans the house every week, you don’t need to do any.” And not waiting for your response, he went to his room to put down all of his stuff before coming out again. “You need help with unpacking?” he asked noticing your suitcase opened earlier.

A smile replaced your pout, and you nodded enthusiastically, knowing he would color coordinate your clothes. He regularly does that to his friends’ closets, destressing he would say. It even surprised you a bit knowing they have someone cleaning their place with his love of making his house spotless, but then again, they are very busy people.

Both of you went back to Sehun and your room. Sehun has emptied out (more like moving some of his clothes to the unused closet in their studio) one of the closet in his room for you to store your clothes. Kyungsoo went straight to work and started to fold your clothes neatly. You on the other hand unpacked your other stuff.

Silence consumed the room, but neither felt uncomfortable. It’s always the same with Kyungsoo. Quiet and peaceful. You’ve always loved how he makes silence so enjoyable. It’s also one of the reason all three of them work, they balance each other out. With the other two being really noisy and loud while the shortest and you when you were around, would keep things peaceful, especially when their competitive ass played games against each other.

But today, you missed him too much to not talk to him. “So how did Sehun get the master bedroom?” you started the conversation as you put away your underwear.

Organizing your hung clothes to color coordinate them, he answered, “We played rock, paper, scissors for it.”

“Shouldn’t the oldest get the biggest room? Or at least you as the leader?”

“We have no leader.”

“Okay, unofficial leader.”

“I still wouldn’t say leader. The most likely not to make fool of themself?”

You snickered, “Yea sure. So how did it happen? Did he convince you both to play for it?”

“Yup.”

“How?”

“That’s Sehun’s maknae power for you,” he simply said while finishing up.

You almost clapped at his work, but decided to just gave him thumbs up. He moved to the sink, tidying up the products you put earlier while also cleaning after Sehun’s mess. You grabbed your money box from the suitcase and tried to put it at the most top shelf of your newly owned closet. But as you reached up, you felt a sting on your ribs and shrieked out of pain while dropping the box in the process.

Kyungsoo noticed the noise and found you crouching down clutching yourself. “Hey are you okay? It’s your rib isn’t it?”

If there’s one thing everyone loves about him is how good he is at reading the atmosphere and people. Without even explaining anything to him, his face changed to express something between worry and annoyed, understanding that you haven’t took your meds yet. He took a deep breath and gestured you to follow him once the pain subdued. Without saying anything he pulled out some side dishes from the fridge and also a bowl of rice. Again without any words he gestured you to eat once he set everything down in front of you on the dining table.

Taking the first bite, your eyes widen and mouth open, surprised at how good the food you were eating, “Wow, this is so much better than last year,” you moaned out. Seeing your expressions a smile replaced the frown on his face. It was not the first time someone complimented him on his cooking, but he did miss your over reactions towards his food.

When you ate the kimchi, a familiarity hit you, “It’s Sehun’s mom’s kimchi isn’t it?” He only nodded. You slowed down your chewing, thinking of the right words to ask.

“No, we didn’t tell her. Do you really think she would let you stay with her super busy son and not take you home with her?” See? People reader.

“Thanks.”

It’s weird, Kyungsoo thought, that he could never took his eyes off of you. The way your eyes would lit up when eating was his favorite thing to see. So for the 2 weeks you were in the hospital when you looked so weak, his heart broke. He loves your laugh and smile, he wished you would always have those on your face. What is this feeling, he would ask himself for years. Romantic feelings? Love? Obsession? He didn’t dare to explore the forbidden area. He still remembered the day Sehun found out Chanyeol had feelings for you. He was furious, for reasons he never asked, afraid of the answers he’s gonna get. He was thankful tho his friends are not as good at reading people as he does. Or is it just because he hides his feelings better?

He thought last year, when you found happiness in your boyfriend, he thought maybe, he could finally stop his . When you moved in with him, he thought, it’s time to forget. When you failed to pick up his and Chanyeol’s calls, he thought, okay you’re happy now. When you didn’t hang out with them anymore, he thought, maybe it’s God’s way of helping him to move on. And when he saw you opened your eyes, he thought, _fuck_ , he can’t move on. So he’s just gonna do what he does best, hide his feelings.

“Oppa,” you called, looking up to him finding his eyes never left you, “Is.. Sehun okay? He was kind of different these last few days.”

He took a deep breath, wondering what to tell you. “Honestly, no.”

“What should I do then?”

His brows furrowed, looking deep in thought. “I think what we can do is to show that he’s not to blame, and let time heals him. And everyone,” he explained softly. Seeing how deflated you were, he reached forward grasping your hand, “Just act like you normally would. And don’t tuck away your feelings. Show it. Tell him. Tell us. Let us help, it will help us heal too.”

Then he released your hand and brought the dirty dishes for him to wash. Ignoring your wish to clean after yourself, he asked you what food you wanted to have for dinner.

You lit up at the thought of eating more good food, he noticed this and his mouth curved into a smile. “You know, I miss every food you’ve ever made. But I think what we need tonight is samgyeopsal and soju, don’t you think?” You cocked your head to get a better glimpse at his face from beside him.

He finished washing up and turned his body to face you, “Sure. But we have to buy it first.”

“Hmm, I also need to buy some stuff. Imma change then.” You replied with a huge smile plastered on your face.

.

When you got home, something caught your eyes. More like their hair color. Sehun with his orange hair and Chanyeol with pink permed hair with both sprawled in the sofa. You paused going to the kitchen, turning to face the guy with his thick glasses behind you with both your hands full with groceries, “You were at the salon today? How come your hair is still black?”

He walked pass you, “Don’t wanna have our fans blind with too much bright color.”

Looking up from their phones, Chanyeol immediately rushed towards you giving you a huge smile that you mirrored before tackled the bags you had and noisily went to the kitchen asking what are they eating for dinner, almost earning a hit from Kyungsoo for his unnecessarily loud voice. Sehun slowly approached and patted your head, “Feeling better?”

Still smiling you just nodded. “How you are not bald yet is beyond me,” as you proceeded to ruffle his hair, which was still soft despite all the bleachings.

He copied your expression and then went to the kitchen, Chanyeol’s loud voice caught your attentions. Then there he was, dancing around the kitchen while cheering, “Samgyeopsal, samgyeopsal,” over and over again before Kyungsoo finally hit the back of his head, sharply said, “Help or shut up, idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot and you love me,” Chanyeol sticked his tongue out to his chingu before laughing loudly and ran off outside the kitchen seeing Kyungsoo was picking up the chopping board to hit him. You and Sehun just took the scene in front of you and laughed along.

“I swear I will hurt him someday,” Kyungsoo said, fixing his glasses and put the board down to cut some vegetables.

You walked towards him, touching his shoulder lightly, “No you wouldn’t. You love him,” you tease and replaced to help him chop things before he got the other things ready.

Kyungsoo cutely (never tell him that he is tho, he hates it) pouted, before continued doing his things in his way, quietly.

While you were doing that, Sehun took out the meat you bought earlier, and put them in a bowl before putting away the other groceries. He might seem normal, but you knew this was him not being himself, around you at least. He’s always soft towards you, treating you like a baby, but not all the time. You would act like cat and mouse sometimes, fight occasionally, but lately he’s been on his toes, being very careful. With his words and touches. Heck, he wouldn’t even care about what happens in the kitchen before being the one who everyone babies all the time, but now he even helped. This earned a confused look from Kyungsoo as well. But maybe your longest friend was confused as well, frustrated even, not knowing how to act around you. And maybe Kyungsoo was right, time was needed to heal everyone. Still, you needed to talk to your friend, this you knew.

.

“Can you guys stop? I can pick them up myself,” you tried to stifle a giggle after the continuous putting-meat-on-your-plate for the last 30 minutes. You hardly saw Kyungsoo next to you who did all the grilling eat. This caused Chanyeol to unstretch his arm from across Kyungsoo. He looked back at you, with his big puppy eyes, trying to look as rejected as possible. So for the last time, with a smile you told them and yourself, you opened your mouth to receive his meat (grilled meat, get your head out of the gutter).

Then the dinner continued as normal, except for when you choked on your water did the three pairs of eyes (two sets with exceptionally big size) looked at you with concern. This time you laughed. “Guys, I know what happened made you worried about me. I know even some of you,” you focused your eyes on the guys across you, “are still blaming yourself. And let me say this again, none of what happened is any of your fault. I love all of you, and I can’t thank you guys enough for everything that you’ve done to me. But please, trust in me, that I can be okay again, that I am going to be alright.”

Not decent, Kyungsoo reminded himself, to blush when you said ‘love’. He knew you meant it differently than what he wanted, but what you needed at the moment is a friend, and that’s what he was going to be.

When everyone finished eating, Sehun left to pick up a call from his manager while the rest of you stayed to clean up. You caught his hyungs saying things like “It’s probably just an excuse to not clean”. But again, everyone, including yourself has a soft spot for the youngest, so you just continue to clean, before, another phone rang and it’s Chanyeol’s turn to pick up his phone. He started his phone call with a very sweet, “Hello? Oh hi, I’m sorry I forgot to call you.”

“So he’s dating someone?” you asked Kyungsoo as he washed the dishes and you wiped them dry.

Kyungsoo just scoffed, “It is rare to see him not,” he said mindlessly as he passed you a plate.

You continued doing that, again in silence, just like how both of you prefer it. Somehow the quietness amongst the chaos in shape of a Park Chanyeol and Oh Sehun made both of you felt warm and found solace in it.

The guy next to you kept convincing himself that the tingling feeling on his stomach and warmth in his heart whenever you would accidentally touched his arms were probably due to the fact you haven’t been around each other for a year and he just missed you a lot. He ignored the sound of his heart beating harder than it should be, trying to make himself believe it was just the soju affecting him. He pushed away his thoughts and wishes of hugging and kissing your cheeks when you smiled ever so brightly at him when you finished. He prayed to all the gods out there that what he felt now, was going to fade, and then disappear.

Another reason why he refused to drink more when all of you were gathered at the coffee table again, other than the fact he’s not as heavyweight as the rest of you.

“So, who’s the lucky one?” your eyebrows waggled at Chanyeol.

“What?”

“The one you’re dating.”

“Ah,” he paused to chugged down a shot, “Why don’t you guess? But for every wrong answers you gotta do a shot,” he challenged, “I miss your drunk state.”

“Okay. Wait do you all know who?” you asked towards the other guys who just shook their heads. “Let’s play together then!”

“Nope, not interested,” Kyungsoo backed down to the sofa behind him.

“Sure,” Sehun said from across Kyungsoo.

“But I need clues,” you replaced your soju with a glass of water instead, not wanting to be drunk obviously. “If I could guess, that means they’re famous right?” Chanyeol just nodded. “Okay, female or male?”

“Guess, and if you’re wrong you could always drink,” he grinned.

You pouted but played along anyway, “Male?”

Chanyeol’s grin just got bigger and you scowled. “Wrong. Drink up.”

“Okay. She’s an idol,” you guessed after finished your shot.

He nodded. This time Sehun tried out, “I’ve seen her?”

Again Chanyeol nodded. “She’s in a group?” you asked.

“Yup.”

“A noona?”

“Another shot, lady.”

It continued like that for a while, with you asking more questions than Sehun of course. You’ve felt the alcohol kicking in, but not for nothing. You’ve concluded that the girl would be from JYP Entertainment.

“Is it Suzy?” you hesitantly asked.

Chanyeol just smirked while shaking his head. “She changed agency last year.”

You sighed in defeat and took another shot. “I’m using internet.” You informed no one in particular and moved back to lean on the sofa next to the guy who was silent the whole time. Kyungsoo noticed you moving and stretched his arm out so you can put your head there. And you did. After finding the comfy position, which was Kyungsoo’s chest (with him silently hoping no one noticed his breath hitched when you moved closer to him), you googled female idols under JYPE.

“Oppa, I swear to God if it’s ITZY’s maknae Yuna I’m gonna punch you hard.”

This caused all the guys to crack up. “Why?” Chanyeol asked in the middle of his laugh.

“She’s a minor, you pedophile.”

“Well thank God she’s not the one then,” he replied still laughing.

“Okay she’s a member of Twice then,” Sehun chimed in.

“You’re getting closer.”

So you googled Chanyeol and Twice but found nothing too helpful other than he collaborated with Nayeon and Jihyo, and MC-ed with Dahyun. He also was in a show with Sana. But being trained how to act in front of the camera, you couldn’t really tell anything different from the photos and videos you saw.

Before you could guess any other name, your phone rang and showed Yixing’s name as the caller. So you sat up straight, leaving Kyungsoo’s embrace, something he hates, and picked up the phone.

“Oppa,” you said to the phone when the other one didn’t say anything. Three heads snapped towards you with the word you said. “Oppa, it’s me,” you said once again not getting any reply.

You could hear a relieved sigh from the other side before he talked. “Jesus Christ, I thought you were gone.”

You broke into a smile before answering, “It’s gonna take more effort for that I’m afraid.” You excused yourself from them before heading to the kitchen.

Three sets of eyes kept following your movements in the kitchen, how you kept smiling and laughing to the phone. They also didn’t leave your figure until you were seated back next to Kyungsoo.

“Hmm, just text me the address. We’ll talk later, kay? Bye,” you said to Yixing after catching up with him.

Those eyes were still pointed at you, obviously curious who’s the caller. You gave them “What?” look when you noticed their staring.

“’Oppa’?” Chanyeol prompted.

Their protective natures brought a smile to your face. “He’s a friend. A good one.”

They looked like they have more questions but sensing how you didn’t feel like talking about it, Sehun changed the subject. “Don’t tell me it’s Nayeon.”

“You really think she wants to date me? She only has eyes for our little friend right here,” he pointed his eyes at Kyungsoo which earned him laughs from you and Sehun and also a glare from behind the glasses.

Feeling a bit drowsy, you knew you had to go to bed soon, so after settling back to Kyungsoo’s arms you guessed for the last time, “Okay, last guess, cause I don’t wanna be drunk. It’s Sana.”

“Bravo,” Chanyeol clapped.

“Yes!” you cheered and yawned, feeling the sleepiness the alcohol caused.

The man you were leaning on just smiled fondly at you and shook your shoulders, “Go to bed.”

You hummed but didn’t budge an inch. Kyungsoo was too warm and comfy. Instead you closed your eyes.

When you opened it again, you were already on your bed. For two days straight someone had to put you to bed, and you loved it. You noticed it wasn’t morning yet when Sehun came out of the bedroom with his sheet mask on and plopped down beside you. “Care to tell me who your friend is?”

You moved closer to him, missing the warmth of Kyungsoo’s body and needed someone else to replace it. He welcomed you and hugged around your shoulders, hugging you tight. He wasn’t as tired as last night, since he could nap at the salon earlier, so he wanted to spend as much time as possible with you. “He’s the club owner I told you about. Turned out he has a café and we decided to meet up there.”

“When?”

“I don’t know either. Tomorrow maybe? The sooner the better?”

“Hmm, I was thinking of having dinner at my parents’ tomorrow, my mom said it’s been so long since we had a family dinner,” he informed.

“Ohh, with me too?”

He took off his mask and put it on the nightstand, “You are family, idiot,” and kissed your temple.

“Fine, dinner with the Oh’s it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyy, so please ignore the timeline, it is a mess. Also I changed minor details, instead of dating her ex for 2 years i changed it into 1 year of dating. And i'm sorry with the constant editing, i am still thinking how to go forward with the story. all kinds of support is appreciated, thanks for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

Dinner went very well. Easy to say that Mrs. Oh was elated knowing you moved in with the boys. She even jumped from her seat to hug you when she was informed of this. She also informed how sad she felt for the whole year you rarely visited the Oh’s residency. Warmth never left your chest the entire night. After that damned year of 2008, they took you in like one of theirs.

The Oh’s family consists of 4 people, Mr. Oh and Mrs. Oh, the oldest Oh Sowoon and Oh Sehun. Oh, don’t forget Oh Vivi and the step grandson, Monsieur, also the reasons Sehun decided to visit his parents’ house, to take them back home. They’ve been taken care by his parents due to him being busy, but now that you lived there and you also missed Vivi and wanted to see Monsieur in person, you told him it’s okay to take them home since you could take care of them.

Seeing how happy her son was meeting his sons made Mrs. Oh sneered, ”Of course you’re only here to see them,” which his son replied with a pout, ”But Vivi’s favorite is still not me,” after witnessing Vivi jumped from his hold to your leg, expecting to be picked up. Even until dinner ended Vivi didn’t leave your side, not even when Sehun offered him a snack, guess you were his favorite after all.

It was good, but also short. But wanting to spend more time with you, the Oh’s sent you and their youngest to buy some snacks and beer from the convenience store nearby.

The walk to the store was silent, and quiet, something that wasn’t really normal when it comes to you and Sehun. Just like the drive from the apartment. It was not awkward or uncomfortable, you’ve had your silent periods with him, when you were fighting or when both just simply ran out of things to talk about, considering you’ve known each other your whole lives and practically know everything about each other. The whole time was just, unusual, was maybe the right way to put it. But remembering your conversation with Kyungsoo from yesterday, everyone was not okay, Sehun was just being the worst at faking it. So you took his advice, to act normal.

“It’s been so long since we walked by this road, isn’t it?” you looked around the familiar street, the one you would walk through every morning and evening to and from school.

“Too long,” Sehun replied, not looking at where he basically grew up, but at you, one of the reasons he was where he was today. He didn’t know why, but he felt a bit emotional today. Might be because the familiarity of having dinner with his family, whole family and that includes you, or having you walking beside him in the setting he knows like the back of his hand (he didn’t want to admit that one of the reasons was Vivi basically ignoring him though).

“Oh! Kid!” someone exclaimed when you were walking through a tteokbokki store to the convenience store making both of you stop.

Unconsciously Sehun fix his hat and mask to cover his face, not really in the mood to be bothered by any fans. But when you looked over to the owner of the voice, turned out she was an old woman, who was looking at you from behind her counter.

She became more excited when you locked eyes with her. “It’s been so long! Did you move after graduating?”

And that’s when it clicked in your head, she’s the owner of the tteokbokki place you spent so much time at, _the_ tteokbokki place.

“Ahjumma, you still remember me?” you asked, now with a smile on your face and walked closer to her.

“Of course! You ate so much of my tteokbokki! My God you are so pretty now!” She now noticed that you weren’t alone. “Is this the boy you were always with? Or is it your boyfriend?”

The guy who she pointed at also realized something, this is where he met the scout. The one he ran away from when eating tteokbokki with you for 30 minutes circling the neighborhood before giving her his mom’s number, after you convinced him that she was not a bad person. Where everything started, the new part of his life. So he lowered his mask and adjusted his cap so his face could be seen, “Yes, it’s me ahjumma,” he smiled sheepishly.

“God are you two this good looking because of my tteokbokki? You shouldn’t cover that face you know,” she joked and you laugh also at her failure to recognize who Sehun is.

After that you bought some portions, for the family waiting and also for the two guys at home. And said your goodbyes to her with Sehun, he interlocked your fingers together.

“Sehun,” you called up to him on the way back to Sehun’s childhood home. He turned his head to your direction. “I’m sorry,” you said with your head down.

He then let go of your fingers and lightly grab your chin and tilted you face up. “You did nothing to be sorry for.”

“But you’re hurt because of me.”

Seeing your dejected face in front of him, he took you into his arms, hugging you close, as you also circled your hand around his waist. “I don’t care if I got hurt because of you. No matter how much pain I’d be in, if it’s because of you I’d be fine, and I’d still love you,” he said softly kissing your head.

Sehun was still quiet even after that, but one thing changed. His hand never left yours.

.

When you got home, after more than 15 minutes assuring Mrs. Oh that you would come by more often, you found the rest of your little cult, you’d like to call the four of you back then when you had no other friends aside from each other, in their studio. Chanyeol with his guitar and headphones and Kyungsoo dozing off next to him. You gave them the tteokbokki you bought and the side dishes Sehun’s mom packed for all of you for them to eat and put away. Sehun joined them, as it turned out they were reviewing a song before Kyungsoo decided he was too tired and closed his eyes for a bit. So you excused yourself to take a shower.

You grabbed your towel and your clothes before going into the bathroom. Setting the water to the right temperature, you stepped into the shower. Letting the water hit your face and body, your mind wandered around and Sehun’s words replayed themselves in your mind. You also remembered Chanyeol giving you a song for you to listen to by text, Make You Feel My Love, telling you the lyrics are exactly what all three of them had on their minds. That they would do anything to make you feel loved. Not leaving out the man of actions himself, Kyungsoo would do all kinds of things to make you smile and happy and healthy, mainly through the things he knows you love the most, good food.

Life could be good, you thought. It would be. With these three amazing people rooting for your happiness, not even counting some other people that truly care for you like the Oh’s, life could be good. And it would get better. You reminded yourself of this mantra every morning and night since two weeks ago. When Kyungsoo handed you a plate of pancake this morning, when Chanyeol cracking jokes next to you, and when you woke up to Sehun’s breath on your neck and his arms hugging your waist, you thanked all the gods out there for their existence. And you knew, you had to be happy, not just for you this time, but for them too.

As you reached for the shampoo, a hand beat you to it. You jumped and screamed. “JESUS!”

“Nope. Just me,” a cheeky voice filled your ears.

You covered your breasts and your private with both arms as you looked behind and see Sehun behind you already squeezing your shampoo out from the bottle onto his palm. He was only in his boxer. What the fuck is this guy planning to do?

“What are you doing?” you hissed.

He turned your head and applied the shampoo to your head. “Giving you a head massage.” He did.

“Fuck, okay that feels good.” You closed your eyes enjoying the pressure he was giving you. “But no what are you doing? Here? When I’m showering?” you asked once again when he finished and pushed you forward to wash your hair out of the shampoo.

Instead of answering, he took the conditioner and put it all over your hair. “Your hair is getting too long. Think you should cut it.”

“Sehun,” you repeated with a warning tone.

He didn’t answer too. He just pushed you back into the shower and stepped out. But never left the bathroom. After you turned off the water he walked back in and handed you your towel. You wrapped it around your body and turned around, finally able to face him. He is gay, yes. He has seen you bare before, yes. But not in the recent years. And to say it was surprising was an understatement. And being naked in front of him, or anyone for all that matters, was scary. Also made you feel vulnerable. You still had some light purple wounds healing that were healing, and you are done seeing people’s faces fell seeing those.

When you got to see him, his face was gloomy to say the least. Before you could ask him what’s wrong, he dropped his head to your still wet shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I just know I don’t want to be away from you.”

You chuckled. “You could’ve just asked you know, not startle me like this.” You pat his back.

“Would you say yes?” His fingers tracing the remaining wounds left on your arms.

“I probably would hit your head before saying yes.”

He straightened up again, and went closer to hug you. “I love you.”

“I know. I do too. But I don’t want you to be hurt because of me,” you said referring to his words earlier.

“Why? I love pain.”

You gave a pinch to his side, making him flinched away from the hug. “I’m serious. Seeing you hurt and worry too much about me hurts me too.”

“Don’t feel guilty, shorty. Worrying about you is my best skill.” He paused to dodge when you reached out trying to pinch him again. He broke into a smile, “I’m serious. I can’t live 1 second of my life without thinking about you.”

“Why? I mean, you don’t have to do that.”

He handed you your clothes and turned around, giving you time to change. “Hmm.. I don’t really know. Maybe I was born to protect you?”

“You weren’t. You were born to live your life, idiot,” you answered back after being fully clothed, lightly smacked the back of his head and walked out of the bathroom.

“Okay fine. But I decided to live my life protecting you,” he said back tailing you with a pout.

As you sat in front of the vanity, you looked up to him. “Why?”

He kneeled down and looked you straight in the eyes, “You might not realize, but you are the reason I am who I am today.”

You stunned, and didn’t know what to say. You were sure he was the one who gave more in your friendship, but he seemed to think the opposite. He then reached out to get the hair dryer and turned it on to dry your hair.

After a while, your head were full of thoughts, and after he finished drying your hair, you asked again, “What did I do?”

“For example, convincing my parents that being an idol is okay and I’m good at it. Or when you defended me in front of them when I got low scores. Or back then when you literally punched the kid bullying me,” he stopped to laugh, “And those were just some from millions of things you’ve done for me.” You were still seated with a confused face, so he pulled you up, “The easiest way to put it, you being you, is a blessing. You’re literally the best thing ever happened to me.”

See? Sehun was super emotional today.

He dragged you by your hand to the living room, and Chanyeol was there, munching on the popcorn on his lap. Sehun let go of you, took the bowl from Chanyeol, and put his head there, stretching his long legs on the sofa. Kyungsoo spotted you coming from the kitchen with his hands filled with the tteokbokki and beers. He motioned you to come closer and sit down. So you did. Turned out, tonight was movie night.

Sehun put his feet on your lap and Kyungsoo sat beside you. When they were living in a much smaller space, the sofa was also smaller. Like how you and Chanyeol remembered that night, it was a tight fit. Someone had to sit down on the floor so someone could lie down. Usually the most tired looking one would, but some other time it would be the one winning a session of rock paper scissors. But there was always someone lying down on the sofa, sometimes even more than one, as it was the coziest position, and they’d have someone playing with their hair, which was very comforting. And as the apartment got bigger, so did the sofa. Everyone was much more comfortable, Chanyeol could even extend his legs on this U-shaped sofa while having Sehun using his thigh as a pillow, Kyungsoo too could just lie down there on the other side. Everyone could spread out without having to touch one another, but somehow, even with no words exchanged, everyone found themselves having others next to them.

“You okay?” Kyungsoo softly asked you noticing your dazed expression as he again offered his arms for you as the other two were still bickering about whether to watch Marvel or DC movie.

You put your head on his shoulder. “Yeah, just, a bit taken back.” You left it there, and he didn’t pry too. You were feeling fine, just didn’t know and didn’t realize Sehun felt that deeply about you. You knew he was a deep person, but maybe you were too focused on your own gratitude towards him you forgot about his.

Somehow you ended up watching The Quiet Place, Chanyeol’s pick, he’s usually the one who decides what to watch anyway. Maybe he was trying to challenge himself to watch horror movies without having to cuddle anyone. But not you. You found yourself burying your face into Kyungsoo’s neck or your own hands every time you got too scared. You also noticed Chanyeol would also hide his face behind his fingers.

In the middle of the movie, when the female main character was trying to hide from the creatures, you looked down to avoid watching the suspension happening. And then you saw it. “Hell, I missed your weird middle toes,” you stated when it was completely silent, including the movie.

It took a second before everyone, except Sehun, to laugh out loud.

“What do you mean weird,” he pouted.

Still laughing, “They look like bean sprouts,” you teased.

He played kick your thigh with a frown. You decided to tease again, “You big baby.”

Sehun then stopped and got up to sit further from you, on the other side of Chanyeol, pushing Chanyeol to his previous position. He sat down with his arms crossed and protruding lower lip, proving your point that he was, a big baby. You all laughed again at his antics.

You tapped your lap, motioning Chanyeol to put his head there. You ran your hand through his hair, still couldn’t believe how these guys, especially the taller ones, still had amazing and soft hair with the amount of bleaching and hair damaging hairstyles they’ve went through. He literally went from red to pink hair in one day. God you hope Sehun’s prayers for these guys include their hair as well.

Chanyeol decided to watch another movie after it ended. And when the second one was finished, you found everyone was sleeping. You were the most well rested one, obviously. Even today you woke up at 10 to an empty house, they left for a photoshoot and only came back right in time before you left to Sehun’s family house. Kyungsoo was sleeping on your shoulder and Sehun lying down on Chanyeol with his head on the latter’s stomach, and Chanyeol’s on your lap.

You gently tried to wake them up, cause there is no way you could lift all of them to their respective bedrooms. Kyungsoo opened his eyes first while the other two didn’t budge. He didn’t say anything, only moved to the unoccupied end of the sofa and properly lay down before closing his eyes again. The other two didn’t even move an inch, so you grabbed the nearest pillow, held Chanyeol’s head in place, and put a pillow under his head to replace your thigh. You then went to your shared bedroom with Sehun, grabbing some blankets. You put one on Sehun and Chanyeol, placing it so that it doesn’t cover Sehun’s face. After them you turned and laid down another blanket on Kyungsoo. You also noticed he still had his glasses on. So you gently removed them and put them on the table. You got up to go to your bed, but before you could walk away, a hand held you back by your wrist.

“Stay,” he whispered.   
  


You looked down to see Kyungsoo still with his eyes closed and his hand around yours. When he sensed you were not leaving, he opened his eyes and motioned you to lie down in his arms after uncovering himself from the blanket, leaving you some space. When you did, he pulled the blanket over the both of you, spooning and trapping you in his arms. Not that you were complaining, again, he was warm and comfy. Thank God they chose this big ass sofa so everyone could fit in cuddles and not fall over.

“So are you and Sehun okay now?” he talked quietly.

You closed your eyes, feeling the sleepiness, “Yeah, I think so.”

He hummed and the darkness enveloped both of you again.


	6. Chapter 6

Finally today arrived. The day you were meeting Yixing. After the dinner with the Oh’s, you texted him you were free the next day, but he had to be in China for a family wedding for a week. You met Yixing back when your ex was finding businesses to invest in, and his club was one of them. You didn’t instantly become friends with him, other than the fact that your ex was super jealous, Yixing was kinda scary at first. He had this intimidating aura, even your ex agreed. But you got closer. In secret though.

For the past week, the boys have barely left you alone. They would try to arrange their schedule so at least one of them would be home. You know they have many friends, especially Chanyeol. Even Kyungsoo has his routine hangouts with his group. And Sehun who likes to drink outside. But lately they’ve just been at home a lot. You overheard Chanyeol couple days ago talking to his friend, “Sorry babe, a bit busy tonight, the comeback is near. But I’ll see you next week at the show okay?” or when you unintentionally and accidentally saw a text message on Kyungsoo’s phone from ‘Kwangsoo-hyung’ that read “We miss you Soo-ya. Hope you can come next time!” when both of them (plus the youngest) were schedule-less and spent the whole night at home drinking with Sehun’s newly bought whiskey.

When all of them had to leave altogether one day, they called and texted you (or facetime at the clingy maknae’s case) all day. You wanted to tell them that you were okay, and to be alone for a couple of hours is totally manageable. But you didn’t, knowing that they still felt guilty (when they shouldn’t have) they couldn’t be there when you needed them. So you let them, do things that would ease their minds.

You told them about your plan today, since they had to finish everything up for their next week’s comeback. Like expected, when you were getting ready to meet Yixing, you checked your phone to find a lot of texts already came in the group chat, the one they already had before they added you in.

**_Yeollie [10:16] :_ **

_Hey @you awake yet?_

**_Se [11:03] :_ **

_Sleepyhead wake up_

**_You [12:24] :_ **

_Sorry just checked my phone. Been awake since 10 you ass @Se_

_Almost ready to head out tho, leaving in about 15 minutes. So excitedd!_

_When are you guys coming home tonight? I was thinking of Ramyeon night?_

**_Kyungsoo [12:26] :_ **

_We should be home at around 8 or 9 I think. Don’t wait for us to have dinner. Chanyeol would pick a movie for tonight, but if you’re tired you can go to sleep early. Have fun with your friend and be careful._

**_Yeollie [12:26] :_ **

_At 8!_

_Oh Soo answered that already lol :p_

_Have fun we miss youuu!_

_Wait I thought you were meeting him at 1?_

**_Se [12:27] :_ **

_My ass is great, you just jealous_

**_You [12:27] :_ **

_*you’re_

_@Yeollie always the sweetest! I miss you guys too! And this morning when Xing told me the address, turned out the café is just a couple blocks away, so I’m walking there!_

_@Kyungsoo yes sir!_

**_Se [12:27] :_ **

_Hmm.. Kinky_

**_You [12:27] :_ **

_Shut up, you’re the only kinky ass in this gc fool, my eyes are still suffering from what I saw_

**_Se [12:28] :_ **

_…_

_Okay I’m shutting up_

**_Yeollie [12:29] :_ **

_Ohh! Tell me! I wanna know!_

**_You [12:29] :_ **

_If Sehun continued being a brat I would happily tell you :)_

**_Kyungsoo [12:29] :_ **

_Back to actually important thing, you’re gonna walk there? Can’t he pick you up or just take a cab instead. It’s safer._

**_You [12:30] :_ **

_I think I could walk just fine, Soo. No need to be paranoid. I’m not dying or anything. Gonna keep annoying your asses for a long time so count on it!_

**_Se [12:31] :_ **

_You’ve been saying ‘ass’ waaay too many times today. Didn’t know you’re an ass-kinda girl_

**_You [12:31] :_ **

_Sehun, I’m thiiis close to type in what I saw 3 christmas ago in your room when both your hyungs were visiting their parents_

_By the way, aren’t you guys supposed to be working now?_

_Get off of your phones! If they fired you and you’re jobless who’s gonna feed me :(_

**_Yeollie [12:32] :_ **

_I’m lunching and Soo’s at makeup and Sehun is messing around like usual, we’ll keep our job just fine and you’re gonna be eating good food for the rest of our life!_

_Oh and by the way, we’re watching Captain America tonight ! But like Soo said, if you’re tired you could just go to sleep!_

_And please Sehun, keep being annoying. I can’t wait for when she’s fed up with you and finally tell us your kinks._

**_Se [12:32] :_ **

_Yes mommy_

_@Yeollie interested much ???_

**_You [12:32] :_ **

_Ooh, I see, another kink. I’ll keep that in mind, baby ;)_

_By the way @Yeollie I still find it weird you’re Team Cap but ordered Iron Man costume instead. And don’t worry. I can sense it’s close to when I finally do :)_

_But not complaining about the movie tho, I got to stare at Chris Evans’ face (and abs and arms) for 2 hours, I don’t even think I’m gonna be sleepy._

**_Se [12:33] :_ **

_Why are you only mean to me :(_

_He’s weird that’s why! Everyone who’s Team Cap is weird!_

**_You [12:33] :_ **

_Faulty logic. You’re Team Iron Man but still the weirdest out of all of us_

**_Yeollie [12:33]:_ **

_*online high-five*_

_And Team Cap rocks!_

**_You [12:33] :_ **

_Preach!_

**_Se [12:34] :_ **

_@Kyungsoo hyuuung help me they’re bullying me :(_

**_Kyungsoo [12:34] :_ **

_Oh I didn’t tell you? I’m also Team Cap._

**_Se [12:34] :_ **

_HYUNG! HOW COULD YOU?_

**_You [12:34] :_ **

_Should we change this gc name to ‘Cap’s bitches’?_

**_[12:35] Yeollie changed group name to “Cap’s Bitches”_ **

****

****

**_Se [12:35] :_ **

_HYUNG SERIOUSLY!_

**_Kyungsoo [12:35] :_ **

_Jesus_

At this point you were laughing close to tears. You continued eating your lunch, a text came in, from Kyungsoo.

**_Kyungsoo [12:37] :_ **

_Hey you had lunch yet?_

**_You [12:37] :_ **

_Eating rn!_

**_Kyungsoo [12:37] :_ **

_Good. Don’t forget your meds too_

**_You [12:37] :_ **

_Yes daddy_

Kyungsoo almost choked on his drink, that his makeup noona looked at him weird.

“Funny pic,” he half-assedly explained.

**_You [12:37] :_ **

_Wait that came out weird_

_Sorry lol_

**_Kyungsoo [12:38] :_ **

_You should thank God this is not the gc_

**_You [12:38] :_ **

_Sehun won’t let it go I know :)_

_Hell I think Chanyeol would also tease me about it_

_By the way I’m gonna head out shortly_

_Have a fun day at work! See you tonight! xx_

**_Kyungsoo [12:39] :_ **

****

_See you, and be safe._

Leaving Kyungsoo and the group chat (that was just filled with Sehun’s whining at this point) on read, you finished your dishes and went back to your room to grab your bag. Picking up the phone you left on the counter, you saw the last messages on the group chat.

**_Se [12:44] :_ **

_I hate everyone_

**_[12:45] Se changed group name to “im leaving the band”_ **

A laugh came out from you. Finally things were starting to be normal again. Except of course the constant nagging and worries from them. But you found yourself liking it, that they care about you. And of course, it did feel nice to bicker with Sehun after so long.

“I miss your bratty ass,” you smiled mumbling to no one.

When you were checking out the chat, someone rang the doorbell. Weird, no one was supposed to come over.

**_You [12:45] :_ **

_Hey anyone expecting someone today?_

_I thought the cleaner was supposed to come tomorrow?_

After the quick texts, they didn’t answer and the bell rung again. So you took a look at the peephole, and found the person you didn’t expect standing in front of the door.

“BAEKHYUN!” you exclaimed.

“GIRLIE I MISSED YOU!” he then proceeded to hug you.

“What are you doing here?!”

Baekhyun let you go before answering, “Your boyfriends told me you needed company today!”

_Ah, of course. The boys._

“They told me to come last week too, but I was busy so I couldn’t. I was so sad I couldn’t see you earlier. It’s been sooooo long!!” he explained.

You hugged once again, indeed, missing him. Before the shitshow happened, he was one of your closest friends other than the EXO, the boys’ band. You then told him you were meeting Yixing and he was more than happy to come with you.

So you walked with him to Yixing’s café. He started to talk about the things you missed out about him, like how he became the million seller with his last album, the first Korean solo artist to do so in 19 years (yes go off king), and some of the guys he dated. He also mentioned his plan to collab with Kyungsoo again and how he had high hopes about it, since the first made him got a best friend in the latter and also in you and the two others.

It took him about 10 minutes before asking, “So what happened?”

“Bad relationship, and like usual, they were there to pick up my pieces,” you answered with a sincere smile.

Baekhyun didn’t pry. And that was really what he really need to know. That you were okay.

15 minutes of walking and you finally arrived. And you didn’t even have to enter the café to find Yixing, he was standing on the entrance looking down to his watch and phone. He only looked over when you called his name, and you launched into each other’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he held you.

“Again, not your fault, and never will be.” You stepped back from him and introduced him to the other person. “This is Baekhyun, and this is Yixing,” you said to both and Yixing offered his hand. Baekhyun zoned out for a minute before shaking the other’s hand.

“Come in! And choose your favorite treat please!” the tallest welcomed you in.

After choosing the mouthwatering red velvet cake and rose tea for yourself, all three of you were seated in one of the tables.

“So I never knew you had a café,” you said to Yixing.

“You know I’m a sweet tooth. Once I’ve saved enough, this happened,” he gestured the café. “Have you been okay?”

“Yes, how ‘bout you?”

“Me? I’m okay. Well not really. I’m drowning in debts cause I made a leap of faith when this lot became available couple of months ago, so,” he laughed.

You laughed with him too, “Your parents are rich, Xing. You need to worry about nothing.”

“Exactly why I’m not depressed about the debts,” he paused to take a sip of his drink. “Is this one of the guys you live with?” he asked pointing at the guy sitting next to you, currently head deep in his strawberry watermelon cake.

You chuckled seeing Baekhyun’s excitement eating the treat. “No. He’s their friend though. Mine too.”

Realizing he was being talked about, he looked sheepishly to the both of you. “Sorry, this is really good,” he talked with his mouth full.

“By the way, where do you live? You said it’s not far?” Yixing asked you. When you told him the name of the building, his eyes widen. “No way.”

“What?”

“I live there too!”

“No way.”

“Do you live there too?” Yixing asked Baekhyun this time.

“Sadly, no.”

All of you ended up talking about music, with Baekhyun giving songs recommendation for Yixing to play in his café, most of them are his songs though. Not that anyone complained, his songs are bombs. Baekhyun also asked about business things, turned out he was thinking about opening up a clothes store for his brand.

“Sorry I have to take this,” Baekhyun said when his phone rang, and he walked out of the café.

“Does he know?” Yixing asked once Baekhyun left.

“A little bit.”

“The other guys?”

“They know.”

“Good. You need the support.” He paused again. “I’m really sorry though. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Like I’ve said over and over again, it is not your fault.”

“His mom called a couple days ago.”

Your breath hitched. “Why?”

“He’s been spiraling out of control.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “But why would she call you and not his friends?” They were friends yes, Yixing and your ex. But not that close.

“She asked my number around, knowing I know you, to ask me to tell you. She’s his mom but still a woman. She couldn’t ask you for this.”

“For what?”

“A call. To him.”

And this time you were sure you weren’t breathing. “What happened to him?” you asked him with your head hung low.

Yixing took your hand in his, “Drugs.”

Your head snapped up. “What?”

He took a deep breath before continuing to explain, “He did drug business behind my back at the club, another reason I closed it down other than the fact that all the investors left after what happened. And the police knew. That’s why they tried to push you into suing him, cause they don’t have enough proof to put him behind bars. He never used them before. But his mom told me he’s been doing it. And she begged me to let you know, to ask you to call him. Just once, to tell him to stop.”

Your head fell again, you were holding back tears. You were afraid, of him. You were afraid of what he did to you and also about what would happen to him.

“You don’t have to do it, not after what he did to you.”

“I… I’ll think about it,” you replied weakly.

“Don’t think too hard. I don’t agree with this too. I only told you because his mom literally begged me on her knees to let you know. But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?”

You just nodded. When Baekhyun came back, you tried to fake a smile and masked your feelings. After about another hour, with promises of visiting in the future, you left. As both of you walked out of the café, you turned to your side to the guy who spent the last hour staring at your friend, “You know, he’s gay, he’s single, definitely ready to mingle, and I also noticed his interest in you” you watched his eyes twinkled, “Go get that dick,” you lightly smacked his bottom as he blushed and walked in once again to face the guy behind the cashier. You saw them pulling out their phones, clearly exchanging numbers. “Happy?” you asked as Baekhyun came out smiling wide.

“I just got myself a sugar daddy, of course I’m happy!”

“Oh don’t even try. He’s my sugar daddy.”

“Honey, you already have 3, you don’t need more.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Did you really change your contact name in my phone?”

Sehun put the phone down in front of him as he sat down and checked himself in the mirror. “Putting just ‘Se’ was disrespectful. You even put Chanyeol’s name as Yeollie. And no emoji or whatever. I’m hurt,” he pouted. He’s been whining about it since he found out his name was only saved as ‘Se’ in your phone.

You also put it down on the counter in the kitchen, trying to still accommodate to the youngest’s clinginess while also cooking. “Cause ‘Yeollie’ is cute. While ‘the only one i love’ is just narcistic, and also not true,” you teased.

Like expected, he pouted and huffed, “Fine you can change it, but not to ‘Se’. Think of something cuter!”

“I thought you were cool and not cute.”

Chanyeol came in the kitchen, fulfilling his promise of helping you cook lunch. None of you are as good as Kyungsoo though, but at least a decent meal is doable. And because the official chef of the house had an audition (being the busy person that he is, having a movie audition while still preparing for a comeback), you had to make do with what you have.

“Hey, Hun. Still bitter about my nickname?” Chanyeol picked up your phone, showing Sehun a screen full of the older’s face.

“No need to rub it on my face, hyung,” he gut cut off as a staff came in the room and told him his shoot is ready. “Gotta go. See you guys tonight. And remember, make it cute!” he said as your face was visible again and he hung up.

“So what are we cooking?” Chanyeol asked, leaning into the counter next to you who were cleaning the vegetables.

“I was thinking wings with grilled veg? Easy and delicious.”

“Perfect.”

You handed him the vegetables for him to chop while you went to pre-heat the oven and put out the instant chicken wings. As you were placing the wings on the oven tray, his voice called you, so you walked over to him. “Is the size okay?” he asked.

Once you had a look, your eyes couldn’t focused to the chopped paprika, but to the hand that was gripping them. The veiny, rough looking, and big, _very_ big hand with very, _very_ long and thick fingers. The fact that he plays guitar and piano didn’t help your wild imagination, or stopped you from thinking how amazing it must have felt like having his hands completely covering your face, gripping your thighs, or fondling your breasts. Giving you light spanking, cupping and squeezing your ass like those hands were made for it. Anywhere would be great. And having those delicate, yet rough fingers inside your mouth, sucking on them like your life depends on it. Or better yet, having those inside you, pumping in and out. As both a pianist and guitarist it’s almost certain he knows how to move his fingers. You knew even just one finger would be enough to bring you to your peak. But having two, _god_ , to have three of those fingers, including the one with the tattoo ‘LOEY’ buried deep in you, to watch each letters disappearing in you only to reemerge moments later, then pushing into you again, _Jesus._ And _oh wait_. Those rings. The cold temperature from the rings would feel amazing in you when he’s knuckle deep in you. You thought maybe you should start wearing rings to finger yourse-

“It’s too small?” his voice brought you out of your daydream, thank God. _No they’re too big for your own good._

You cleared your throat ignoring the reddening cheeks, “N-no, umm, yeah it’s too-too small, cut it bigger, they’ll shrink.” _Fuck_ you even stuttered.

You went back to your wings, trying to calm down your heart, evening out your breath. What are his hands so hot for?

Another torture came when he noticed you were struggling opening up the olive oil bottle. He noticed and helped you out. You wished you weren’t just drooling over the sight of his hands and fingers 2 minutes ago so that you wouldn’t give much thought to how his arms flexed when he opened the bottle cap in one smooth move. If you weren’t just being thirsty over his big hands, you wouldn’t be overly-aware of his arm muscle, and his biceps, contracting when he did that. Damn him and his sleeveless shirt.

You hoped, you could only wish, that was the last of it. But of course it didn’t stop. He accidentally cut his index fingers. In an almost automatic manner, you took his bleeding finger and suck it. You didn’t realize what you were doing at first, of course. That was just a reflex. Your mom did it to you, his mom probably did too. But as a couple seconds went by, your brain reminded you of your thoughts earlier. Your cursed eyes had to peek at his ‘LOEY’ tattoo, and your damned brain had to think about wanting to lick it. _Fuck yourself_. He had a girlfriend for god sake.

So you stopped, and put his fingers under running water. You also grabbed a plaster from the medical kit in the kitchen that Kyungsoo told you about last week. When wrapping the tip of his fingers with the plaster, you muttered, “Sorry if that was weird. Reflex.”

And after that, again ignoring the heat on your face and core (thank you again for the unholy thoughts, brain), you turned away to tend the wings. You tried to season them, as well as the vegetables Chanyeol handed you after, as a way of distracting yourself. You made sure you didn’t look at his face, or his hands, and excused yourself after putting them on the oven, with a lame excuse of wanting calling Baekhyun. It’s not that you never noticed that he’s hot, all three of them are truly, madly, good looking. It’s just you never thought about it.

While you were composing yourself, Chanyeol also did the same. He didn’t expect you to put his finger inside your mouth, not that he’s against it if anyone asked him, but he was caught off guard. Fuck he couldn’t even calm his heart that was beating too fast and loud. The feelings of your lips around the tip of his finger still lingered when he was left alone, and fuck it felt nice. When he could feel your tongue he felt himself twitched. Or when you released his finger with a ‘pop’ and how you bit down your lower lip afterward, he almost died. He silently thanked God that he was too shocked to move or think, cause if he wasn’t he didn’t know whether he could stop himself from pushing his finger deeper into you or not. It was supposed to be a domestic gesture, he reminded himself. One thing that also calmed his mind was a call from the girlfriend he almost forgot he had.

With phonecalls before lunch, both of you successfully enough repressed the desires in your minds. Still once in a while you would take a peek at his hands, but that was about it. You stopped yourself from thinking further. One of the mantras you told yourself was ‘you just miss people’s touches,’ since you usually got dicked down almost every day, but it’s been a month without any.

Lunch was great, bless you self-control. After that, he invited you to their studio, to listen to their final songs. The privilege of being their best friend.

“Speaking of new things, how’s your writing coming up?” he asked after you finished the whole album. You sank back to the chair, let out a big breath. That gave him the answer he needed and he laughed, “So, not good?”

“Not good at all. I don’t even know what to write. Nothing,” you said back, defeated.

He faced you and patted your head, “I’ve read your writings, and they’re great. You’ll be fine.”

You smiled to his sincerity, “Thanks.”

“Oh, by the way, Jongdae said they’re gonna be free next month, so we’re having dinner here. It’s also the end of our promotion so we should be free too.”

“They’re?”

“Him and his brothers.”

“Ah, my ex bosses you mean.”

Chanyeol chuckled. He got up to answer the ringing door as you followed behind, “Yes. And the youngest Kim just moved back too from the US, and he said he’d want to introduce him to us.”

“Youngest? I didn’t know they have other brother.”

“Yeah me neither. Jongdae said he moved years ago.” He peeked into the peephole and his brows furrowed, “You were expecting Baekhyun?”

You copied his expression, “Baekhyun? No, I’m supposed to meet Yixing though. I told him I couldn’t tod.. Ah. I get it,” you opened the door to see Baekhyun, with a new hair color, and a huge smile on his face. He went in and hugged each of you.

Chanyeol’s brows were still furrowed as the two of you engaged in a conversation. Other than he was confused by the sudden appearance of the one and only Byun Baekhyun, he was also displeased by the other name mentioned. But as he caught himself disliking that name, he mentally slapped himself. Was he jealous? If he was, he’s fucked for sure.

Turned out, Baekhyun visited because Yixing texted you he’s gonna come too (something you forgot to tell Chanyeol which in turn ruined his mood) after you turned his offer to hang out because of Yixing. You spent the afternoon with the three of them.

After both of them left, Chanyeol, still with his disapproving look that you noticed but didn’t know what caused it, asked you, “So you and Yixing .. A thing now?”

You looked at him dumbfounded with your mouth slightly agape, “Me.. and Yixing?” Chanyeol only nodded, somewhat afraid of the answer. “Wait you serious?” He nodded again. “You didn’t notice?”

“Notice.. what?”

You laughed at his confused face, “That for the entire day Yixing only had eyes for one person and that person is your other friend? And that they were literally flirting the whole time in front of us?”

“Ahh.. So he’s gay?”

“Obviously,” you laughed leaving a shocked giant in front of the door to the kitchen. “Hey should we cook them dinner?” you yelled from the kitchen, referring to the other two.

A smile slowly crept unto his face, “No, Kyungsoo said he’s cooking. He’s on the way home,” he said skipping his way to the kitchen, mood completely changed for the better.

You giggled seeing his behavior, “What happened?”

Chanyeol stopped, but his smile didn’t disappear, “I don’t know. Let’s watch something!”

He pulled you to the living room and turned on the TV, putting whatever on. You couldn’t help but to laugh at his shenanigans, silently wondering how the stoic Kyungsoo could put up with these two jokers every day.

.

**_You [15:37] :_ **

_Oppa_

**_Yixing [16:02] :_ **

_Hey, you need something? Sorry the cashier is sick I gotta take over :)_

**_You [16:05] :_ **

_It’s fine really. It’s just_

_Erm I don’t know how_

**_Yixing [16:05] :_ **

_What is it about?_

_Take your time it’s fine :)_

**_You [16:05] :_ **

_Him_

**_Yixing [16:05] :_ **

_Oh._

**_You [16:06] :_ **

_I don’t want to call him. I’m not_

_Ready_

**_Yixing [16:06] :_ **

_It’s totally okay. I’ll tell her mom. You don’t owe them anything_

**_You [16:06] :_ **

_Wait. I want to say something to him_

_To make sure he’s gonna be okay._

**_Yixing [16:07] :_ **

_You don’t have to._

_The more I think about it the more fucked up I think this is. He hurt you, he doesn’t deserve your anything._

_It’s okay if you don’t do anything. He needs to suffer. Prison is a good choice._

**_You [16:07] :_ **

_But I want to._

_No matter how bad he was to me, he was still someone I loved. And I can’t just do nothing knowing I could at least talk him out of it._

**_Yixing [16:08] :_ **

_Fine. But you’re not texting him. Let me._

**_You [16:08] :_ **

_Okay_

_Wow_

**_You [16:22] :_ **

_Erhm.. Hey. It’s me. I’m fine now. I wasn’t before, but I think you already know that. I heard. Please stop. You were horrible, yes. But it’s nothing a therapy can’t fix. Deep down I believe you are a good person. You made me happy, truly happy. I know partly why you did this. Stop. Stop feeling guilty. Everyone told me it wasn’t my mistake, and I do believe that now. That was your fault yes. But there’s nothing we can do about it now. I could only move on with my life. You too. Go on with yours. Don’t destroy it any further. Believe it or not I still care about you. I really do. So stop being stupid. Throw away those drugs. Go to therapy, rehab, anything. Fix yourself. And talk to me afterwards. You still owe me an apology. And I don’t want a call from the prison. Call me when you’re clean. Apologize to me. Or don’t, I don’t care what you do after. Just. Stop. Please. I care about you._

You locked your phone with teary eyes. You were finally closing that chapter of your life.

.

The next month was hectic to say the least. They would leave very early in the morning, only to get back late at night. Movie nights were nonexistent, in turn they would ask you to cuddle them to sleep, just like old times. Back when you were living on your own, they (mostly Sehun, but the others would steal you when Sehun fell asleep) would beg you to sleep at their place. Maybe one of the reasons none of your exes liked them. The other reason would be that you put these guys before anyone. That was before your last ex happened, also to be the only boyfriend you moved in with. You really saw a future with him, but fuck past you who didn’t know any better. With him who literally didn’t let you leave the house alone, Sehun would turn to facetime you when he’s tired.

You asked them why do they like to cuddle you so much when they’re tired. They just replied “we’re charging” in return. So far you’ve spent your nights in Sehun’s bed (well yours as well) since he’s the clingiest out of all and the elders understood. But one time when Chanyeol also wanted some attention too, he knocked on your door and lay down in beside of you and Sehun who was sleeping on your chest. So you reached out and caressed his hair until he was deep asleep. And since then it was pretty of them you found yourself trapped between those two. Kyungsoo on the other side never literally asked you, but he would asked you who you’re sleeping with that night (that doesn’t sound good does it) and you knew he wanted some cuddles.

But not tonight. Today was the last day of their promotion. Starting tomorrow they wouldn’t have to wake up early again, they were really done with the music shows, the variety shows, photoshoots, interviews, and all those shits. They were free starting from tomorrow. And to say they were tired was an understatement.

You were in the living room, seated in front of your laptop, trying to think about anything, anything to write, and came up short. After about 10 minutes of just staring at a word document with one sentence on it “It was fall when I fell in love.” when the front door was opened and 3 figures walked in. The tallest two immediately clung to your sides. They were ready to drag you to bed when Kyungsoo timidly stepped in front of you and softly said, “Can you spend time with me tonight?” And without thinking further, you let go of the two giants, closed your laptop, gave them kisses on their heads, and followed Kyungsoo to his bedroom.

Once you were in there, you flopped down unto his bed, finding a comfortable position. He walked back into the bedroom after showering, and he lay down facing you who were on your side. As you put your phone on his bedside table.

“How was your day?” he asked with a tired voice.

And he was really tired. EXO doesn’t really have a leader, but as the most level-headed member, he held that title unofficially. He’s not the one who answers all questions, that’s Chanyeol’s job. But it’s his role to stop the others from answering things they’re not supposed to talk about, or to give the first speeches when they win awards. He’s also ‘unofficially’ responsible to be the peacemaker when the tensions between them are too high, which would be a common occurrence when they’re tired and overworked. He acts as the bridge between the band and the company. Paired with his busy schedule as an actor, it is very understandable, and only natural for him to be exhausted and weary.

“Pretty good. Baekhyun came over today, we walked the boys before dropping them at grandma’s,” you reached up to run your fingers through his damp hair.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the touches, “Hmm.. Sehun’s mom requested them again?”

“Yeah, Mr. Oh has been busy with work lately, and she feels lonely being alone at home. I think Sehun needs to get another dog, she loved them too much to let them go.”

“Baek drove you there?”

“Nope. Yixing did.”  
  


“He’s the reason Baek has been visiting so often, isn’t he?” he lightly chuckled.

You joined, “It’s only a matter of days before he stops coming here and going to Yixing’s unit instead.”

He hummed agreeing with you. Since they found out Yixing was gay, they relaxed around the topic. No more too detailed questions about where are you going, when are you coming home, et cetera when you told them you’re hanging out with Yixing. You adore them being protective even when they were super busy.

Kyungsoo opened his eyes and looked into yours, “Can you do me a favor?”

“Yes?”

“I forgot to do my skincare,” he said sheepishly.

You snickered. You got up and expecting him to follow you, but he didn’t. You grabbed his stuff to the bed. You nudged him to open his closed again eyes when you sat next to him, and when he did, he put his head on your lap, and again closing his eyes.

“Tired?” you tried to keep him awake for as long as possible, you also missed talking to him.

“Spent,” he replied back, enjoying the feeling of your light massage on his face.

“Well at least you could look at gorgeous girls all day. You got any of their numbers?”

“Why would I when the most beautiful one is waiting at home.”

You felt your heart stopped a beat. Kyungsoo is never the one saying these kinda things. Chanyeol, yes he definitely would. Sehun too. But him? Never. But you just shrugged it off. He was half awake. But then shouldn’t that mean that it was his unconsciousness talking? Whatever. He was tired. He didn’t know what he was talking about.

You nudged him again, “Yeah sure cowboy. Time to fall asleep,” sarcasm clear on your note. He moved away from your lap as you put all his things where they were supposed to be, just like how he likes it. When you walked back, he already had his arm stretched to his side, your place.

So you lay there, on his arm, and then pulled up the comforter to cover both your bodies. He hugged your waist, spooning you. You felt secure, so safe in his embrace. You could feel his heartbeat on your back and his breath on your neck as he buried his face there. Your left hand searched for his right, linking your fingers together. Before you know it, sleepiness consumed you. With your arms in his, legs entangled, bodies pressed to each other, and hearts beating together, you fell asleep.

Before you were gone, you could hear a voice, a whisper almost inaudible, “But you’re really pretty to me. The prettiest.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Okay so you changed Kyungsoo’s name to ‘soo-ft’, Chanyeol’s to ‘loHey’, and mine is ‘oshun’? What do they even mean?” Sehun whined, as usual, as he handed you back your phone. You were currently at the grocery store, as Kyungsoo would be cooking for the dinner with the Kim’s tonight once he got back from his meeting. The whining started when he saw Kyungsoo’s changed contact name when he called you he was going to be late and he needed you to do groceries. So that has been about 30 minutes of Sehun fussing about wanting to know why you changed Kyungsoo’s contact name and what was his new one, before you finally conceded and gave him your phone.

“Well Kyungsoo _is_ soft, Chanyeol’s just his ‘loey’ but lohey sounds cuter,” as you were explaining, you got distracted at the beef cuts you were supposed to buy.

And Sehun being Sehun, crossed his arms with a scowl that was prominent even behind his mask and cap. “You forgetting someone?”

You turned to see him and you couldn’t stop a chuckle to come out, “Yours is oshun because your name is Oh Se-Hun, and that you are my sunshine, or, _shunshine_ in this case.” You also hid the fact you changed Kyungsoo’s name after comfy nights you’ve spent in his arms and Chanyeol’s happened mostly because of the ‘finger incident’. You would never tell anyone that other than the reason loHey sounds cute with the ‘h’, that letter was added also because that’s the first letter of what you felt that day though.

“Not because you want to shun me away?”

You cupped both his cheeks, slightly shocked, but also understood where he came from. For almost the 2 weeks they’ve been home, Sehun’s been super clingy. What’s new right? But he also has been kinda jealous when your attention was not fully for him. “Never. Too bad you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life, dummy.”

His face lit up and exclaimed a little bit too energetic, “I knew you could be cute to me!” as you found your cheeks being pinched by him.

“I’m always cute when you’re not being a brat,” you mumbled when he let your cheeks go.

“Oh you love me either way,” he said pushing the cart to the next aisle.

_True that_.

“So the fourth Kim, have you met him?” you asked him as you were at the cashier.

“Nope. Junmyeon told me he left years ago to the US. Don’t really know what for tho.” He took the Chupa Chups that was paid for and put it in his mouth after opening the wrapper truly a kid. “Anyway, how’s your book coming up?”

You gently shoved his lolly back to his mouth and handed him two paper bags full of groceries as you also carried the same amount. “Don’t ask,” you simply said.

The candy didn’t stop him from talking though, he pushed the lolly to his side cheeks so he could keep talking. “Oh you’ve invited Baek haven’t you?”

“Him and Yixing, yes.”

“I’m still mad you didn’t introduce me to that fine piece of ass first.”

“Well you had irrational distrust towards him, Baekhyun didn’t. And besides, he’s not really your type.”

He helped you put the groceries to the car and entered the passenger’s side, “And what is my type?” he tested.

“A jerk,” you simply said turning on the car’s engine and turned on the radio, connected it to your phone and put on your playlist.

“Hey,” he whined.

“What? All of your exes I’ve met so far are douchebags.”

“Like yours are any better,” he muttered.

“Well maybe that’s why we’re so compatible. We have terrible taste in men.”

“Honestly, men are trash.”

You checked the rearview mirror and finally stepped on the gas, “Hmm, preach.”

“You know, if we never found anyone, let’s just live together until we’re old and gray,” he continued.

You chuckled, “You’ve been saying that since we were what, 18?” remembering the exact statement from the same lanky guy every time he got heartbroken in the past.

“That means I still love you the same, you lucky fool.”

“You’re the lucky one I haven’t dropped your ass for a much better bestie.”

“Not possible. Oh Sehun is the best bestie ever,” he stuck his tongue out.

You reached out and ruffled his black hair, “Of course. And that’s why I love you, dork.” A satisfied smile from the overgrown baby next to you indicated his satisfaction with your words.

.

It was almost time for the invitees to arrive, all the food that you all cooked (of course that meant you and Kyungsoo, since the giants decided they wanted to do nothing but to annoy Kyungsoo and be useless at the kitchen) were placed at the kitchen, along with the plates and utensils. Dishes would be a nightmare though.

“You’re not inviting Sana?” you asked Chanyeol who was sneakily stealing the fruits Kyungsoo has plated beautifully when the latter was answering the door.

“Oh, we broke up,” he replied lightly while still munching the grapes.

You hit his muscly upper arm, both from the shock and to stop him from eating which made him had a ‘what was that for’ look. “You broke up? Why?”

“Well we’re just not working out anymore. It’s the longest I’ve dated idols though,” he defended.

“How long exactly was your relationship?”

“3 months.”

You once again hit his arm that he gave the same look to, “Stop dating around. Find someone you could actually settle with.” You got up from the dining table to welcome the first guest, Baekhyun.

Chanyeol’s eyes followed your figure. _If only it was easy._

“He’s gonna be late. He has to work hard to provide his sugar baby’s needs,” Baekhyun gestured himself as he answered why he came alone.

10 minutes after he arrived, and participating in annoying Kyungsoo with the other two unadult adult, the bell rang again. This time 3 Kim’s walked in.

After a loud ‘JONGDAEE’ scream from Baekhyun and the rest of the guys exchanging bro hugs, your ex-bosses approached you, also hugged you. Which was weird considering you worked under them a year ago. But they argued that you were friends now.

“Sorry our maknae is gonna be late, he was meeting up with his old friends,” Jongdae announced after successfully detaching himself from Baekhyun and Chanyeol, he also approached you and offered you his hand for a handshake. “I would hug you as we’ve met before but we’re not that close yet, so, saving a hug for next time,” he grinned widely.

You shook his hand and smiled back. The last, and first time you met him, was 3 years ago at an after party for the release of his and Kyungsoo’s song collaboration, and both of you were tipsy, so out of everyone, he was the one you were most not close with. Which wouldn’t be a problem since he’s a friendly and welcoming person. Jongdae rocks (sorry I just love Jongdae).

Yixing and the missing Kim brother should arrive shortly, so you waited for them while keep chatting to each other in the living room. Safe to say it was noisy, you have 3 loud people (re: Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Jongdae), and a whiny Sehun. Thank goodness for the 3 sane guys left. But even the older Kim’s couldn’t help but to throw their dad jokes to the table, resulting blank stares and silence (and a chuckle only from themselves).

When the bell rang again, you volunteered to get the door, since everyone was occupied with their own conversations with each other.

And his face was the face you never thought you would see again, “Jongin?”

The shock was also mutual, apparent in his face. With his jaw dropped and eyes widened, he looked to the unit number and his phone, “It’s EXO’s residence?”

Trying to get over your own shock, you cleared your throat, “Yes. What are you-,” then realization hit you, “Wait, you’re _Kim_ Jongin, the maknae.”

He was looking at you, brows furrowed, then he blinked, “The singer friend you told me about, it was them?”

It was amazing, you thought, that he still remembered what you told him 6 years ago, “Yes, Sehun,” you replied almost inaudible, still blown away by how small the world is.

You two stood silently, absorbed with your own minds and thoughts. There was a bit of awkwardness there too, hell, a lot of it. No one knew what to say, but wanted to say lots of things.

You were saved by the arrival of the last guest. “Yixing,” you faked cheerfulness in your voice and hugged him.

“Sorry I’m late.” He was eyeing the other presence in front of the door when Junmyeon appeared from behind you.

“Jongin! There you are!”

After a brief introduction between the three, another one happened in the dining room. Everyone was now seated in the big dining table. You once questioned why they needed a huge table, and now you knew the answer. You sat at the corner of the table, next to Chanyeol and across Kyungsoo.

“You okay?” Chanyeol asked from beside you.

“Yeah,” uncertainty clear in your voice, but Chanyeol didn’t pry.

“You look like you just saw a ghost.”

You gave him a half-smile, _would be better if I did_.

Everyone kept having chats with each other while eating, like wishes to collaborate and stuff. You also ate lethargically, not that the food wasn’t good, it was amazingly tasty, you told Kyungsoo when he asked how was the taste. It’s just your mind wasn’t functioning normally.

What are the chances right? You saw him again, after 6 years, your first boyfriend, your _first love_. He treated you very good, visiting your dorm every time you had to finish your writings and papers, he would come with food and coffee in his hands, he gave you head massages and made you laugh. Those were the simpler time, the good time. You thought you would be with him forever, you really did, you felt so much love for and from him. Well that was the dream before he left. You were really naïve, weren’t you? Your first boyfriend made you think about forever, you even considered marriage with your abusive ex, and let’s not talk about every time you decided to seriously date your other exes just with a simple promise of not leaving you, which turned out to be lies by the way.

“Hey,” Chanyeol brought you back to reality with a shake on your shoulder.

“What?” you asked absentmindedly, obviously not listening to the happening conversation.

“Minseok asked you do you know Jongin? You went to the same college?” he asked with his forehead creased.

“Ah.. yeah, I-I mean you were dancing major right? Our faculties were pretty close, so we ran to each other pretty often,” you smiled awkwardly, offering a half-assed explanation.

Decided to change the topic, Baekhyun suddenly yelp, “Jongdae! Tell everyone what happened yesterday!!”

Jongdae then smiled widely, took out his phone, and handed it around. Before the phone reached you, Junmyeon replaced Baekhyun’s loud voice, “YOU PROPOSED?”

“Hyung you’re getting married?” Sehun also asked after Junmyeon showed him the photo.

Chanyeol also gave you a look after Sehun finished, a picture of Jongdae and his girlfriend smiling with a ring placed beautifully on her ring finger. You handed Kyungsoo the phone and he muttered to Baekhyun, “Why did he tell you first?”

“Cause I’m his favorite,” he beamed and gave the phone to the owner after showing Yixing.

“And you didn’t tell ME?” you heard Minseok exclaimed before standing up and tackled the his younger brother in a hug.

Now the table was full of joyful cheers, the boys engulfed the happy man in hugs, even Yixing, who bonded with him over Jongdae’s curiosity of Chinese language since he was going to promote in China.

“OH and she’s pregnant,” Baekhyun stated smugly.

Another roar of protests, mostly from the brothers, of why Baekhyun got to know first happened. “Cause he saw me last night at the restaurant,” Jongdae calmly defended himself with huge grin on his face.

“Congratulations. You’ll make a great father,” you congratulated him, unintentionally meeting the eyes of Jongin who sat next to him on the other side of the table. You looked away nervously after Jongdae thanked you.

Chaos continued to happen with Baekhyun and Sehun’s excited questions about how far along was the baby, or when the wedding was happening, and other stuff. But you couldn’t pay attention. Not when your mind was still jumbled, or when you could feel Jongin staring at you too, oozing out guilt.

The conversation flowed and this time a question was thrown at you, and once again you were not listening. You looked up when Chanyeol poked your side to 9 sets of eyes, showing some different emotions. Some were confused, some were curious, and one was, well, sorry.

“What?” you whispered to the giant next to you.

“Junmyeon asked about your writing.”

“Ah. Right. It’s going nowhere,” you looked over to the guy that asked with a forced smile.

“You were a model employee, you’d do great,” Minseok chimed in.

But once again your eyes met with him, and you were stunned, until Junmyeon called your name, “I could give you the source’s number if you’d like?”

You broke eye contact and to look at your ex-boss instead, “Yeah, sure.” with no idea what he talked about.

Once everyone finished dinner, Baekhyun and Yixing excused themselves, Baekhyun had a late recording session and Yixing had to go back to his café. You volunteered stay back and do the dishes while the others went to the recreation room, the building’s facility to play pool. Doing the endless washing was still a better choice than being in the same room with your ex. It was suffocating, and you needed air to breath. You just got over the complicated feelings for one ex, and now another came in front of you and gave you another sets of different feelings with the memories you two had.

But of course, life had to fuck you up more. Jongin appeared in the kitchen, with a cough to catch your attention. Your eyes widened, and you gulped before asking him, “What- a-are you doing here?”

“Helping you out,” he replied weakly.

After hesitating, he stood next to you, soundlessly got to work. And you continued. No words were spoken.

Until he broke the silence, “I’m sorry.”

You were now drying the plates, and you didn’t look at him, somehow you wanted an explanation, but also didn’t want to know why he left.

“I was a jerk, and I’m-“

“Why?” you cut him off, deciding you _needed_ answers, _needed_ to know what went wrong. Because you were fine, everything was okay, you two were deeply in love before one day, he just disappeared. Left. Never came back.

He put down the plates in his hands and searched for your eyes. “Can you look at me?” But you kept looking down. “Please.” Yet you didn’t budge.

So he hesitantly reached to your hands trying to make you drop what you were holding. You almost flinched at the odd yet familiar touch. He then softly and gently, as if he was afraid he would break you, grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him. However you kept your gaze to the ground. He sighed and put his hand under your chin to raise your head. Again the touch felt foreign, yet close to heart.

He was met with the face he once knew every inch of, but with closed eyelids. Too afraid to see the guy standing in front of her. Too afraid to see someone who once was her home. “Please, look at me, just this once,” he begged.

With great battle and effort, you did. And there he was, so close yet so far, the guy who once made you very happy but also broke you to pieces. You couldn’t breathe, this took you back to the dark places you were 6 years ago. Overwhelmed, you shoved him away. Not too hard to hurt his body, but it did cause ache to his heart.

After taking few deep breaths, you faced him again, eyes demanding answers and explanations. “I-I’m sorry. No excuse, I was a jerk. And I hurt you, I’m sorry.” This time he looked down.

“Why?” you pried softly, still trying to find your voice, “Why did you leave?”

“I got an offer I couldn’t deny. An American college offered me a scholarship. It was once in a lifetime opportunity. And I .. chose that over you,” guilt and regret clear in his voice.

“Couldn’t you just tell me? I would’ve understood,” you choked up, your tears threatening to flow down your face.

He saw your attempt of holding back the tears, “Oh no, don’t cry, I don’t deserve your tears.”

You scoffed, “Oh a bit too late for that, isn’t it, Jongin? But I’ve cried out buckets of tears when I woke up one day, and found your dorm empty, your presence nowhere, your friends didn’t know where you went, no texts, no calls, no letters, nothing. You just, _puff_ , gone. So don’t worry, I don’t think I have much tears left,” your emotions exploded, back of your hand wiped the tears away.

“I’m truly, very, sor-“

“Oh can you fucking _stop_ saying sorry and start explaining _why_ you didn’t tell me!” you snapped.

He was taken aback, but then started saying, “I was stupid. I thought.. I thought by not telling you I was protecting your feelings,” he paused to scan your fuming face, “But turned out I hurt you more by saying nothing.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Jongin, what did you think? That I’d be okay after you just left with no trace? And I’d just go on with my life like nothing went fucking wrong? That somehow I’d be fine after you decided to abandon me without any explanations like my p-,” you cut yourself off, “You were afraid I would beg you to stay? To not go? Do you really think of me that low? You think I wouldn’t let you chase the dreams I knew you were desperate for? To hold you back from the life you long for?” you ranted.

“No. I just..” he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a frustrated huff, “I was a coward. I even purposely stayed longer in the US than I needed too because how guilty I feel for leaving. I.. I didn’t know what I was thinking okay? I was stupid and selfish and dumb and-“

“Yes you were! But it’s too late now. I don’t—you don’t know what I went through because of what you did. You knew what _they_ did to me, and yet you did the same,” you said with gritted teeth. This time the tears fell down with no resistance.

Jongin looked dejected, he stepped forward, reaching out trying to calm down your cry. But before he could touch you, you stopped him, “No, don’t. Just.. Don’t,” with a finger pointed at him.

Just then, a deep voice boomed in the kitchen, “What the fuck happened here?”

You wiped away your tears and saw a wild-eyed Chanyeol ready to pounce on Jongin. You stopped him by his arm, and shook your head. “I think you should leave.” you told Jongin.

Jongin was about to object, but seeing your pained face, he decided to leave.

“What did he do?” Chanyeol worriedly asked you.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll tell you later.” But you wiping the tears away still while trying your best to smile didn’t do anything to convince him that you were fine.

He took your wrist, pulled you along to the living room. He sat you down while he grabbed you a glass of water. After you finishing the water your breathing was calming down, the tears were almost gone and your heart didn’t hurt so much anymore.

“Tell me what happened,” he said turning your body towards him so you faced each other.

You cleared your throat, “No, really. I was overreacting.”

“Yeah, no chance lady. Tell me.”

“It’s nothing, really. Let’s check the guys shall we?” you offered, trying to stand up.

But Chanyeol stopped you and pulled you down. “No. C’mon. Spill,” he demanded.

“I’ll tell you with the others kay?” He let your wrist go, his face fell. You took that as an agreement. But as you took a step towards the door, you heard him saying something inaudible, so you turned and asked him.

He sighed, crestfallen, “I said, am I not your friend?” as he looked up to meet your eyes.

“What?” you kneeled in front of him, “Of course you are, why would you say that?”

“Because it doesn’t feel like it. All four of us are friends, a cult as how you liked to say. But lately I’ve been feeling left out. You tell Sehun and Kyungsoo everything. Can you believe I have to ask them how you’ve been holding up? I was,” he paused and cursed under his breath, “Fuck I was giving you space. I thought you needed it. Time to think and heal. I thought if you really wanted to tell me you would. But as I kept giving you space and chance to tell me yourself, the further our distance became. And I hate it.”

Your jaw dropped. And shit. You did. It want intentional, but lately you’ve been spending a lot of time with Sehun, since you were elated you two were finally normal again. And you would have plenty of talk sessions with Kyungsoo. He’s a great listener and advisor. But you weren’t aware of pushing Chanyeol away, of making him the least.

So you hugged him, “Sorry. I didn’t realize,” then you pulled back but kept your hands on his face, “You are my friend. My best friend. Should we hang out tomorrow?”

Chanyeol felt his heart clenched at the word ‘friend’, but it was still better than nothing right? So he nodded.

Your hands fell to his thighs. “It’s a date then,” you smiled to him.

He also threw you a tight lipped smile. “So, can I be the first to know what happened between you and Jongin earlier?”

You sat down in front of him and took a deep breath, “He was my first.”

“I thought it was Sehun?”

“NOT first sex,” fuck those drunk nights you let slip the fact you and Sehun lost your virginities to each other, “First boyfriend, first love.”

“Oh.”

“We met at orientation. Love at first sight, as cliché as it sounds. After a year, he just left. Turned out he got a scholarship. He didn’t tell me and just left.”

“Was he the reason you moved in with us for a few months back then? And Sehun bringing you around anywhere we went?”

You chuckled at the memories. Because of how broken and lifeless you were, Sehun dragged you out of your dorm to theirs. You ended up living with them for a few months before getting better, the starting point of your friendship with the rest of the band. But those days were also their busy days, different cities every day, also the reason you couldn’t introduce Jongin to them. And because Sehun refused to let you behind, you had to take the semester off. Those months you were glued to EXO, wherever they were, you were there too.

“Yes. I was in a dark place back then. And then my knights in shining armor came and pulled me out.”  
  


“And those knights were us?”

“Yes, dork,” you laughed.

“You okay now?” he asked once your laughter died down, sensing a bit of fake happiness in your laugh.

You wanted to lie, tell him that you were completely fine. But you knew that was kinda pointless, so you told him the truth, “I mean it’ll be weird if I said I’m fine. I’m not. Shocked mostly, and his face reminded me of the pain of those days. But nothing to biggie. Deep down I think, I’ve forgiven him, maybe? I don’t feel hate towards him, I don’t want revenge or anything bad to happen to him, so stop thinking about punching him,” you warned him, “It’s just, those are the words I wanted to say 6 years ago. But now I don’t need his love anymore. Don’t need him either, if that’s what you’re curious about. I needed explanations, and I got it.”

You didn’t feel it but tears fell down again. He reached down to your face and wiped them, cupping your face afterwards.

You smiled at his worryful face, “The tears are from my pain and also of relief. That I finally know why he did it. I’m not fine at the moment, but I will be shortly. You said it yourself, I’m strong and I’ll get through this. This is nothing you know.” You put your palm on his knees to convince him that you were not as unhappy as he thought you were.

He leaned towards you and gave you a chaste kiss to your forehead. He placed his forehead on yours, eyes looking straight into you, “You are strong.” Another tears of relief rolled down, and somehow you found yourself laughing, and he too laughed along.

He pulled back, but his palms never left your face. “Thank you,” you said softly with a sincere smile.

His kept his gaze at you. At your eyes that looked back at him, your reddening nose because of the crying that he found _so_ adorable, those few freckles that you hated but he found he loved, and your lips. Your full lips that you unconsciously bit down on. Fuck you were even doing it now.

“You’re biting your lips.” His voice was deeper than the usual, his eyes got darker as he stared at your lips. And before he could stop himself, he tentatively ran his thumb over your lower lip.

You weren’t sure you were breathing or not. Your heart’s pounding so hard it’s a miracle if Chanyeol didn’t hear it from the close proximity. But maybe he couldn’t since his own also beating as hard.

His thumb was still slowly and sensually toying with your unresisting bottom lip, his eyes never left as well. His index finger joined in, lightly pinching and moving your lips around. Never too harsh, too soft for your taste even, but still effective to arouse. Gathering braveness, he put his thumb inside your mouth, not too deep, just to run it over your teeth.

Before you could think about it, your lips acted faster and closed around his thumb and his breath hitched. Your teeth bit down on his nail, and your tongue met his fingertip. Your brain was screaming both for you to stop and go deeper. And you decided the latter.

Boldly you grasped his palm, and took charge. Chanyeol shivered as your teeth grazed his thumb, taking him deeper, sucking it vigorously.

“Fuck,” he hissed as you ran your tongue around the finger. His eyes were glued to the erotic sight, you with your eyes closed, lips circled around his thumb.

He almost felt disappointed when you let the finger slide out of your mouth, but then your focus turned to the finger that has been causing frustration to you, his middle finger, his LOEY finger. You traced the ink with your thumb, appreciating how beautiful the tattoo on his skin was. Chanyeol choked on air as you ran your tongue over the tattoo. He couldn’t even remember how to breath as you slowly but surely took him in, engulfing his middle finger. The finger was longer, but you found no trouble. You went deep, until you could suck his ring, feeling the cold temperature from the white gold on your tongue. When you opened your eyes and darted up to meet his eyes, Chanyeol felt his jeans got tighter. He gulped as you fixated your eyes on his, while he couldn’t choose what to focus on, your dark eyes or the way each letters of his tattoos would disappear inside your mouth.

“ _Fuck baby_.” He pulled his finger away, you were scared and afraid he was going to walk away. But of course Chanyeol didn’t. He wanted this as much as you did.

His hands found your waist and yanked you to his lap. A gasp escaped your lips as you felt his bulge against your dampening core. His hands didn’t leave your waist, so you took control and put yours at the back of his neck and the other on his jaw. You inched closer and before you knew it, your lips met. The kiss was soft, only for a second before he hugged your waist, pulling you closer and then the kiss turned hotter and more demanding than before. He took the lead and asked for permission with a lick on your lips. And who were you to deny.

Your lips parted and his tongue was pushed past them. His hands were moving along your back as the kiss made you dizzy with pleasure. He was kissing you with so much passion, so hard and eager you couldn’t help but moan. He stopped for a second for air before going straight back in. One of his hands found its way under your sweater, sending a shiver down your spine at his light yet firm grip around your waist, while the other cupped your ass.

You grinded down on the rough fabric of his jeans, sending a pleasure to your core. As a reply, he bucked his hips up, making your head spin. You continued to rolled your hips against him, hearing him deep moan into the kiss. His tongue kept exploring your cave, battling your own once in a while as his hands guided you on his lap, rubbing you on him giving the frictions both needed. He groaned as your hand went lower and lower, settling on his abs for a second, before teasingly cupped his bulge only to release it again. You smirked to the kiss. Not pleased with the tease, his hand moved from your ass, dragging his fingers over your clothed entrance with light feathery-like touch. You moaned at that. He smirked back when he felt your legging was wet and damp and so warm. He placed his hands inside your sweater then, stroking your sides and teasingly played with the cotton fabric that was your bra.

He was about to unhook your bra, his fingers were ghosting over the strap. But before he could, the sound of the door codes being punched in caught both your attentions. It was a miracle you could hear the sound really, considering both of you were moaning and panting hard. You instantly detached yourself from Chanyeol, too quickly to stand up. You were wobbly on your feet and so was he, but both of you wasted no time to dash to your respective bedrooms. You didn’t trust your state enough to face the others, not only the state of your pants, but your face and heart as well.

You immediately went to the bathroom, seeing the flushed cheeks, red and slightly swollen lips, heart still beating erratically, and wetness between your legs. And you were supposed to have a date, a friendly date to be exact, with the guy that just kissed the life out of you.

_Fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's longer than the others and I was so relieved when I finished writing it! It took so long to write the kissing part since well, I've never really kissed anyone so I didn't really know how to describe it :)
> 
> But thank you google and other fanfics. It took longer because I had to do research, a lot of it.
> 
> And I am no professional writer, english is not even my first language. I'm writing this purely because Kyungsoo is my bias and weakness and SeChan just do something to me okay. This trio will be the death of me :) I haven't wrote this much before I think. My words choices and writing ability is nowhere near perfect, but I'm willing to learn! I'll keep reading other stories to improve my writing, and if you have any inputs and advices feel free to comment :)
> 
> If you have any story recommendation that has good writing styles I could learn from please do comment :) Thank you so much!! <333


	9. Chapter 9

Another day in EXO’s residence, another breakfast made by the one and only Do Kyungsoo. It has been 2 days since your ‘incident’ with Chanyeol and the friendly date hasn’t been brought up. He has been having meetings with Sehun and their company regarding their sub-unit. And honestly, you needed time too. The making out, the grinding, the fingers, _god_ the fingers, were still very fresh in your mind. You could still faintly feel his touches and kisses on your body. It would be a lie to say you weren’t turned on. Would also be a lie to say you haven’t wished the others would come back 2 hours later than they did. But other than the desire and lust filling your mind, fear and anxiety also crept in. Fearful of how this would affect your friendship not just with him but also with the other two. Anxious about what he thought about it. Your friendship with them was the most important thing in your life, and you don’t want to risk that just because you’re horny.

The same thoughts were in Chanyeol’s head. Fuck, he has been wanting to kiss you since pre-debut days. But when he finally did, he was torn. He wanted to kiss you again and again, it felt good for him, and for you too he noticed. He wanted to go further, he really did. But he also didn’t want to risk what he had with you. He hated how his long gone feelings came back easily once he felt your lips on his. But he also loved how you kissed back. He has dreamt about the kiss many times, and when it finally happened, it was so much better than what he imagined. But the outcome wasn’t something he wanted of course, having to avoid you cause he felt awkward (and also he couldn’t stop looking at your lips) to the point he was happy for the endless meetings he’s had.

“Thank you,” you said to the official chef of the house.

“My mother wants to see you guys today. Are you free?” Sehun asked putting down his phone, mostly to Kyungsoo since he knew you were always available and the meetings about EXO-SC were done yesterday.

“I have a follow-up casting and test-reading actually. But I should be done before evening. I’ll join you guys for dinner?”

Sehun nodded and spoke with a mouthful of pancake, “So it’s just us three then,” which earned him a light pinch from you.

“Chew first,” you told him. You knew you couldn’t avoid Chanyeol for a long time, you lived in the same apartment and you would have to see each other. So you decided to ask him to hang out today, possibly to talk about the kiss, or just dodge the topic and ignore it, pretend nothing happened. “Actually, I have a date with Chanyeol.” Chanyeol choked on his drink, and the others looked at you with curious eyes, “I realized we haven’t spent much time together since you came back from the tour, sooo.., we’ll be there in the evening?” you explained.

“I’ll tell my mom you guys are coming for dinner,” Sehun said then after a brief of silence reaching for his phone, probably texting his mom.

Then Kyungsoo left, not long after Sehun too. And Chanyeol was in his room, two beanies with almost identical blacks on his hands, hoodies and sweaters scattered on his bed. Ended up going with the darker black beanie, black hoodie, black jeans.

He looked at his full-length mirror (that still couldn’t show his whole 1.85m body), “Why do I dress like Kyungsoo more often these days,” he mumbled to himself. True, Kyungsoo was also wearing a very identical outfit today.

He traded his beanie for a cap, the cap would be easier to hide his face in rather than the beanie. He also thought of changing his outfit to have more colors, but decided against it since his height already makes him stands out in the crowd, he didn’t need more things to attract unwanted attention.

Speaking of crowds, Chanyeol still didn’t know where and what you two were going and doing. You didn’t speak after breakfast, both just went to your own bedrooms and got ready. But not to his knowledge, you also had no idea what you should do today and were equally nervous. You were just thinking of having to talk to him (not just about the kiss) after 2 days of just ‘hey’ and ‘hello’ and took the chance when you found out he was free.

You were checking your final look, having the same thoughts of being as invisible as possible, the fans knew you’re Sehun’s childhood friend and close friend of the other guys after all. You had a dark green sweater and navy jeans on. “Fuck why did I say date.”

You grabbed your cap and bag before headed to Chanyeol’s room. You knocked and not long, he opened it. “You ready?”

.

The first stop of your ‘date’ was Sehun’s favorite bubble tea shop near SME building. Yes it was not even lunchtime yet both of you were sipping on your favorite bubble tea flavors. The car ride was filled with silence, unsurprisingly. So was the table you were sitting at. You wanted to ask him why did he kiss you, but that would make everything more awkward than it already was. And you didn’t regret it really, it was a good kiss, in fact you liked it. If only he wasn’t your best friend, the whole thing would be easier to handle.

You noticed he was also in deep thought. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get any word out, his phone rang. “Hello?” He looked over to you almost apologetically and mouthed ‘My mom’ to you. You nodded and smiled to him, indicating it was totally fine.

“Oh, I can’t. Sehun’s mom invited us for dinner,” he said to the phone which earned a loud ‘Yah!’ from his mom, you stifled a laugh when Chanyeol rubbed his forehead as his mom kept chattering, “I’ll come over now, how’s that sound?” Again Chanyeol gazed at you, being sorry for the sudden change of plan, not that any of you were complaining since lunch with other people would be better than if it was just the two of you. “Just say you want to see Kyungsoo,” he protests and you can’t help but laugh at that. “I’ll bring the son you’ve always wanted to have next time, okay?”

“Your family is still in love with Kyungsoo?” you teased after he hung up.

“I think out of all the most impossible thing out of every impossibilities is for them to love me more than Kyungsoo.”

After the call, the tension and awkwardness between you melted a bit, with him complaining how many times his mom and his sister (avid fans of Kyungsoo) would talk about his younger bandmate. Even his dad (who was more subtle with his admiration) spent the whole evening chatting up with the shorter when he invited all three of them to his new restaurant opening.

When you arrived at their house, the rest of the Parks' family was wide-eyed at the sight of you. You were instantly embraced in their arms. If anyone wondered how Chanyeol turned out to be as positive and happy and talkative as he was, they just have to take a look at their family, even their dog is very hyperactive. For the past two hours you’ve been here, no one stopped talking to you, asking about your life at the moment, your writing process (which was going nowhere), and everything pretty much. They stopped only when they realized the lunch they invited both of you to was forgotten. They only expected Chanyeol and planned to eat out, no one did any cooking. So the older Parks went outside to buy some food while their children and you stayed in. Chanyeol, Yoora, and you were in the middle of a conversation (more like Yoora embarrassing her little brother about how he used to wet his bed until he was 10 and Chanyeol whined ‘that was one time!’) when you felt your phone vibrated in your pocket.

**_soo-ft [13:05] :_ **

_Where are you guys? My test reading ended early. Should I go to Sehun’s parents’ earlier?_

****

**_oshun [13:05] :_ **

_Me and mom are out. We’ll be home around 4 or 5._

_Hbu @You and @loHey?_

**_You [13:06] :_ **

_We’re at Chanyeol’s parents’, they invited us for lunch._

_You wanna come here so we can leave together instead?_

**_soo-ft [13:06] :_ **

_Sure, I’ll ask manager-hyung to drop me there._

You showed Chanyeol the group text and he groaned in response. You laughed at his antics, Yoora too after she read that Kyungsoo was coming over. “Welcome to another episode of Mom and Dad forgetting they already had a son,” Yoora teased.

“They won’t shut up about how Kyungsoo makes time to visit even when he just finished work now,” he complained, but not that he was actually jealous or upset of the favoritism, he played along mostly for the laughter. Everyone knows nobody is a bigger fan of Kyungsoo than Chanyeol himself.

While waiting for their parents and Kyungsoo, Yoora decided to torture Chanyeol some more. With what else other than his childhood pictures, back when his ears were very large compared to his small face, and the infamous ferret pictures. Turned out there were more pictures of them.

“I hate you,” he said to no one in particular, but probably to the both of you since Yoora was very enthusiastic showing you more photos and you were laughing your ass off at them. The photo showing session continued even after Kyungsoo arrived. He joined in on the laughing of course.

Not long after the return of Chanyeol’s parents stopped Yoora’s attempt to completely humiliate Chanyeol. It was replaced with showers of love and praises to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol was long forgotten, but at least no one was laughing at him anymore. Everyone ended up sitting at the dining table, eating the fried chicken the elders bought.

You noticed the Parks’ interest in Kyungsoo when the three’s families first met, probably was caused by the differences between him and their own blood. Chanyeol who was always full of self-love and Kyungsoo who always thought less of himself. Naturally, the loud family felt the need to protect him and tell him how amazing he is every second. Could also be the reason Chanyeol stuck to his side since they met back on trainee days. And the duo SC (who was joined at the hip since they met 2 years earlier) was completed as a trio with the addition of the quiet one. The peacemaker when Sehun would say something rude and intentionally hurt the oldest feelings, the messenger of the group to the company to prevent the hotheaded Chanyeol and unfiltered Sehun saying something that could hurt their careers, the addition they both didn’t know they needed. They were truly lucky the company saw their chemistry and love for each other they were put in the same group.

A few hours after Mr and Mrs Park loving other people’s kids more than their own, the three of you excused yourself to go to Sehun’s parents’. After promising to visit and trying out new recipes they both came with for their café, they finally let all of you leave. A warm welcome you also felt at the Oh’s. You got an extra pinch to your side though.

“You told me you were coming last week,” Mrs. Oh grumbled with Vivi in her hands.

You smiled sheepishly at her while taking Vivi, “Sorry, I forgot auntie,” then kissed her cheek and showed your most adorable expression. “Where is your headache anyway?”

She just rolled her eyes while kissed your cheek back. “He’s picking up Monsieur at the salon and Sowoon from his office,” she explained Sehun’s absence.

All of you helped Mrs. Oh to cook dinner while waiting for her men to come home. Well you and Kyungsoo. Chanyeol played with Vivi after washing some vegetables while constantly muttered, “I hope Toben is as good as you are.”

As you were placing the dishes on the table, Sowoon and Sehun came home. Sehun immediately made his way to Vivi, picked him up and coddled him. Mrs. Oh scolded, “Really? Not even a kiss for me first?” And you also added, “Not a hug for me too?” which went unnoticed by the youngest. Instead, Sowoon came and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek and hugged you after greeting the two additional boys sitting on his dinner table.

“And that’s why you are my favorite Oh,” you said kissing his cheek.

“Nope. Your favorite will always be me,” Sehun took your hand to sit at the dining table sticking his tongue out at his brother in the process.

After Mr. Oh came home, dinner started. After it finished Chanyeol convinced Mrs. Oh to show them his childhood pictures, featuring you in half of them. But to Chanyeol’s dissatisfaction, the photos were mostly cute. Neither you nor Sehun ever had an almost abnormal obsession with animals as he did.

Mrs. Oh took you away from the scene in the living room (now the guys were discussing baseball and arguing which one is the best team) to your bedroom, and showed you a letter. A letter from your mom.

“I know you probably don’t wanna read it. Just like the other ones I didn’t open it. I’m just gonna put it with the others, yes?”

You inspected the letter in your hands. The handwriting you knew by heart, a name that kept ringing inside your mind. “You should open it. She wrote it for you, not me. It’s your name auntie.” You handed the letter back.

“The first letter was about you, darling. And she said she was sorry,” she said carefully.

“If she was really sorry she could’ve written to me, or even better, come back,” you replied bitterly looking down on your feet.

Mrs. Oh hugged your figure, caressing your hair, “She was my best friend, yet I still can’t understand why she did it and why she never wrote to you. I resent her action too.”

“Well I lived with her for 14 years yet I too don’t get her reasons. Maybe someday we’ll read it. But even after all these years... I still can’t.” You pulled back to look her in the eyes, “She might be the one who gave birth to me, but she’s not my mother. You are,” you said sincerely.

She smiled at you, but then she grimaced, “No wait, that’s weird.”

“What?” you frowned.

“Think of me like a .. sister! Yes. Not a mother.”

You chuckled at her absurdness, “What do you mean?”

“It’s weird to think of you as my daughter when I know you and Sehun had sex!” she hissed the end part.

Your eyes widened, “How do you know that?!”

“Sehun used to tell me everything. Everything,” she replied with horror.

“Then why didn’t you say anything? Or get mad at me?”

Not it’s her turn to frown, “And why exactly would I be mad at you? If he wasn’t gay, honey, I would tell him to marry you.”

You smiled at her words, “Well thank you for thinking I’m a good wife-material. So let’s just say you’re a very loving auntie to me. Not a sister, still kinda horrifying, and definitely NOT a mother.”

“Deal.” She got closer to hug you again. “I don’t know what happened to you last year, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I hope the boys can help you heal,” with a kiss on your head.

After saying goodbye, you got into Chanyeol’s car again. But before you could get in, Kyungsoo whispered, “So you and Chanyeol good now?”

“What?” you asked with shock.

“I noticed both of you were avoiding each other lately.”

You chuckled nervously, “What, no. We’re always fine. No one’s avoiding anyone.” You were sure he was not convinced, but was relieved when he let the topic go.

So you went on your way to home sweet home, with the car’s owner driving, with Kyungsoo on his right, you on the back and Sehun’s head on your shoulder. You were looking outside absentmindedly, when Chanyeol noticed from the rearview mirror.

“You okay?”

You looked at his reflection on the mirror, gave a small smile and nod.

“You don’t look like it,” Kyungsoo said with his head turned at you.

You took a breath, not too big, you didn’t want to wake Sehun, “Maybe not entirely fine, but nothing I can’t handle,” you reassured them.

Kyungsoo kept studying your face when Chanyeol chimed in, “Well I myself need some alcohol. What do you say of getting drunk tonight?” as he searched for your eyes through the mirror with his dimple showing.

“You know what, that’s a superb idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY it's been quite a looong time. I've been procrastinating a lot, like usual, sorry. But thank you for all of your support! The next chapter is supposed to be kinda steamy if nothing changes. I hope it will not take as much time as this one though. See you in the next chapter! 
> 
> By the way, if you guys have any advice or if you just wanna talk, you can reach me on twitter @shipbullshitnjh ;);) <3<3


	10. Chapter 10

5 and a half bottle of soju later, everyone was tipsy. You were all sitting on the carpet, Kyungsoo had his head on Sehun’s shoulder, his eyes closed, and somehow you were sitting sideways in Chanyeol’s lap with him hugging your torso. The position sent a rush of excitement southward as it reminded you of the make out, but the alcohol blocked your ability to think straight and logically, so you just stayed there. And he was warm, always so warm, too warm for hot days, but as winter was coming closer the warmth he gave felt amazing. Which reminded you, Chanyeol’s birthday was coming up.

“Should we have a party for your birthday?” you asked Chanyeol but spoke loud enough for the two other guys hear.

“Party or no party doesn’t change the fact that I’m just getting older. And I hate that I am getting older,” he pouted and buried his face where your neck meets your shoulder, his breath made you shiver.

“Have you grown any gray hair hyung?” Which Chanyeol answered by throwing his slipper in the youngest’s direction.

Kyungsoo frowned when his head fell as Sehun tried to dodge the upcoming object aimed to his face. But he was content once he had his headrest back, “If we are celebrating just rent a restaurant or something. Cleaning and cooking for a crowd are tiring,” he chimed in.

“A club is not too bad too, right? I could DJ or whatever,” Chanyeol leaned his head back to take a look at you. “What do you think?”

“Anything is fine. It’s your birthday after all.”

He just nodded, “I’ll think about it more.”

By the time all of you got to the 7th bottle, giggles were heard. Chanyeol and you got up to sit on the corner of the U-shaped sofa, your head on his thigh. Sehun was telling a story about a male idol who tried to ask him out in the backstage of an award show, but tripped on his own foot out of nervousness and ended up landing on his face.

“That’s not nice, he must’ve been shy,” you tried to stop the guys’ laughter and your own, but failing as you can’t stop imagining the scene.

“He was, he told me he’d been trying to ask me out for months.” he said trying stifling his giggle. “I told him I wasn’t interested in dating though, so we agreed on hooking up. I thought he looked like a good fuck. So we went to the room, done all the foreplay and all. I was prepping myself, when…”

He got cut off when Kyungsoo groaned, “No one wanted to know the detail of you getting fucked, brat.” as he got up to the kitchen.

Sehun just rolled his eyes, “But that’s the thing, hyung!” he called out to the uncaring man, “I was getting ready to be fucked, when he asked, ‘Hyung, what are you doing?’ and I knew, I picked the wrong guy. He’s a whole bottom,” his face turned annoyed for a second before he beamed, “But he’s great though. Amazing blowjobs and a fine piece of ass. Especially when he begged.”

“Ooookay. Too much. I know the kid,” Chanyeol stopped him.

You on the other hand wanted to know more, “So what you went out with him?” as you googled the said idol. He did look like a bottom.

“Nope. We became some kind of fuck buddies though before he got a girlfriend. I’m pretty sure he gets pegged regularly,” Sehun smirked.

“Jesus,” Chanyeol groaned.

Kyungsoo came back and gave each of you water bottles. “So you’re a switch?” you continued which made Chanyeol and Kyungsoo sighed in protest.

“I do enjoy both. But I mostly bottom because being a top requires too much work, but I’m fine either way. Sex is sex,” Sehun replied nonchalantly.

A cough stopped your next question. “Don’t you think we should talk about something else?” Kyungsoo asked after chugging down another shot of alcohol, feeling still too sober for this.

Both you and Sehun giggled again.

“But while we’re in this topic, how about you, Soo?” Chanyeol asked, surprising everyone.

“If I were gay I’d top,” he shrugged.

“No, stupid. Nayeon,” Chanyeol simply said raising his eyebrow.

“Ohh what about her?” You sat up enthusiastically and leaned back on Chanyeol’s body, sitting sideways facing the two guys on the other side of the sofa.

Sehun also perked up, but the man in question was not excited to answer. He let out a big breath, “Nothing is going on between me and Nayeon.”

“Yeah but a little birdie told me there was something,” Chanyeol pried with a half-smile.

“Nothing too biggie, nothing too important for you to know,” Kyungsoo glared at his bandmate, clearly annoyed of him.

“If you and Nayeon were friends with benefits wasn’t a big thing I don’t know what is,” the tallest challenged still with his shit eating grin.

At this point you and Sehun were looking back and forth between the two with wide eyes and open mouth, intrigued by the whole exchange.

“We were hardly friends. She was there when I needed it and vice versa,” Kyungsoo ran his fingers through his hair. “And we stopped a few months ago,” he huffed.

“Because she started having feelings for you,” Chanyeol let the final blow.

“Ahh, so that’s why she kept seeking your attention,” Sehun lowly said.

“Oh please. She originally wanted to date you before she found out you’re gay,” he said putting down his glasses to rub his eyes.

“There’s another thing I’m curious about,” Chanyeol started again, “Why did you two have sex?” he pointed at you and Sehun.

You blushed and lightly hit his arm, not finding words in your mind. You looked over at Sehun, red on his face too, he reached for another shot of soju. “I was… experimenting,” he said. “Have had a feeling I wasn’t completely straight, but wanted to try to make sure.”

Then the attention turned to you. You also chugged down another shot hoping the alcohol would make your tongue loose. With under the influence of alcohol, you said it before you could process it, “I guess I liked him.” You internally cursed yourself. You felt your cheeks burned even more with the alcohol and embarrassment. “And I kinda didn’t want to enter college being a virgin, so I asked him.”

“Well shit, I didn’t know you liked me.”

“Well I got over that pretty fast considering the fact you came out 2 weeks after that.”

“You came out to her 2 weeks after taking her virginity?” Chanyeol’s eyes doubled in size while Kyungsoo hit the back of the younger’s head.

“I was very confused,” Sehun pouted while rubbing his head.

It was quiet for a moment, your head recalling the said occurrence. Sehun then explained, “She was the first one I told. And I guess it makes sense now if she liked me, because she cried, and then I cried too because I was scared, we ended up crying the whole night,” he giggled at the end.

“Correction, I cried mostly because I was so proud of how brave you were,” you said seriously before giggling too, remembering the ridiculous night. “Sehun’s mom was so concerned she thought one of us was dying or something she winded up crying too. So we were crying, hugging each other until Sehun’s dad came home looking at us like we were crazy.”

Then somehow you were playing Never Have I Ever and whoever lost first had to do punishments.

You got the first turn. Chanyeol beside you whispered to your ear, “Let’s make Kyungsoo lose. I’ll dare him to call Nayeon,” his breath tickled your ear.

You giggled before you started, “Never have I ever had a fuck-buddies,” knowing you were safe. The rest put one finger down with a scowl (and extra eye roll from Kyungsoo).

Chanyeol tickled your side, “Kyungsoo, babe, Kyungsoo.” You flushed deeper at the endearment, but let’s blame the alcohol for that.

“No targeting,” Kyungsoo glared when he heard his name.

Chanyeol smirked before took his turn, “Never have I ever cried using contact lens,” before chuckled, happy he hit two birds with one stone.

“My eyes are sensitive, you dick,” Kyungsoo groaned.

“That was one time! And I am not the target here,” you complained as you put one finger down.

“I mean I won’t complain if you lose too,” Chanyeol grinned.

Sehun took his turn and of course, being the punk he is, he joined the make-Kyungsoo-lose club, ”Never have I ever been in the top 10 highest-rated drama in cable TV.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t even be mad at that, he was proud of the drama and was happy that his friend remembered that. Nevertheless, he knew the intention of the tall friend. “Jerk,” he mumbled before taking his turn, “Never have I ever had sucked a dick.”

And of course anyone but him put a finger down. “It’s your loss anyway,” Sehun said.

You snorted before continuing the game, “Never have I ever had my dick sucked.”

“Not fair, you don’t have one!” Sehun sulked.

“Life is never fair,” you countered.

Ignoring Sehun’s tongue stuck out at you, Chanyeol let the final blow, “Never have I ever had sex with Nayeon.”

Everyone agreed Chanyeol deserved the incoming slipper thrown at him (the slipper he threw at Sehun earlier). The slipper made its way to his crotch. Kyungsoo aimed his face but the spot it landed in and the moan of pain coming out of Chanyeol’s lips made him happy he was too drunk to aim right.

Kyungsoo had to call Nayeon, silently thanking God she didn’t pick up. But of course his friends wouldn’t let him like that. So he had to send a text message. Nothing too suggestive she’d think he was interested, you were not that cruel. Just a simple ‘Hi, how are you?’

The game carried on with a new target each round. Sehun had to follow Chanyeol’s Instagram for 1 month, Chanyeol did a shot of soy sauce, while you gave Sehun a piggyback ride around the room. After everyone got a punishment, you decided to do a last round, no target, no punishments, but the last one standing would get a gift from the losers. So far you and Kyungsoo had 3 fingers each, Chanyeol had 2 and Sehun was on his last finger.

“Honestly I’m a bit too drunk and sleepy to think of anything,” Sehun yawned as he was lying down on his side hugging Kyungsoo’s hips. “Never have I ever skinny-dip.” No one has, but Sehun didn’t care as he closed his eyes, but still had his remaining finger up.

“Never have I ever kissed anyone in this room,” Kyungsoo said.

You and Sehun put down a finger each making the youngest lost. Chanyeol also did the same, which made you a bit nervous he was lowkey admitting he has kissed either Sehun or you. And even in your drunken state you couldn’t help but wonder why Kyungsoo didn’t ask Chanyeol about the kiss. Did he know?

“Again, your loss hyung,” Sehun mumbled in drowsiness.

The thought of Kyungsoo possibly knowing your kiss with Chanyeol faded away as you saw he still had 3 fingers left and Chanyeol had 1. Your competitiveness burned and you thought of a question that could probably make Chanyeol lost his last finger, at least if you lost to Kyungsoo you would win the second place. “Never have I ever had sex in public.”

You were watching Chanyeol, he was the most likely to do so in your mind. But contrary to your assumption, it was Kyungsoo who folded his ring finger sheepishly. Suddenly everyone (except for Sehun who was already softly snoring) was more awake than before, demanding elaboration from the second tallest person in the house, which of course, in his usual way, refused to tell anything.

Chanyeol had his eyebrows furrowed, thinking hard about his next question, when his eyes got bigger and threw a knowing look towards Kyungsoo, “I’ve never had a threesome.” Which got you and Kyungsoo red.

“Wait you too?!”

“I was just curious,” you brushed off Chanyeol, “But what?! Public sex, friends with benefits, threesome? Never thought you were that wild, Soo,” you eyed him teasingly.

“I.. had a phase,” he replied with red cheeks. “Your turn go, go,” he rushed you trying to get the attention off of him.

“He was pretty adventurous the first years we debuted,” Chanyeol softly said to your ear. Before you could think about your next question, Chanyeol pulled you closer by your waist, and after a bit of adjusting, you ended up in your original position, sideways on his lap, hands around your waist.

Thinking became harder as he put his head on your shoulder, his breaths tickling the sensitive skin around your neck. Was not the first time you felt butterflies in your stomach when you were with Chanyeol, but being drunk definitely enhanced the feeling.

As you were about to speak, you saw Kyungsoo was already asleep, sprawled next to Sehun. That was fast. Did you take too long or was he just very tired? “I guess it’s between you and me now,” you said to Chanyeol.

He turned your around, you found yourself in a similar position as the night you kissed, face to face, your thighs caging his. Not as close, but still as warm. “I’ll let you win.”

“Really?” you tilted your head.

He chuckled, “I’m very, very sleepy,” he dropped his head to your shoulder to prove his point.

“Take me to bed then.”

And he did. He picked you up the way you were sat, his hands on your thigh and hip as you hugged him tight so that you wouldn’t fall. He laid you down on your bed, as he sat on the floor next to you. You turned to your side to see him, he had his chin on your bed. His hand reached out to brush a strand of your hair over your ear and went on to caress your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the care and giving up to your tiredness.

“Does Kyungsoo know?” you asked.

“About what?”

“Our kiss. He was not shocked you’ve kissed one of us.”

He hummed, “He doesn’t know about our kiss. But he saw Sehun and I kissed.”

Your eyes popped open, “What?!”

He chuckled, “Funny story. Sehun’s ex told him he was a bad kisser. So he asked me to teach him. Kyungsoo saw right as our lips met.”

“So you stopped? Didn’t teach him at the end?”

“I did. Kyungsoo too. He stayed and gave notes as Sehun practiced with me,” he said nonchalantly.

You chuckled and closed your eyes again.

“Yeol, what are we?” your mouth ran off before your brain could think about it.

Chanyeol’s hand stilled on your hair, “Hm?” he cocked his head.

“I mean...,” you opened your eyes, “We kissed, and now what?”

He continued his motion, “What do you want us to be?”

“What do you want us to be?”

He chuckled lightly, “Isn’t it obvious?” He paused and said softly after watching your confused face, “That I like you.”

Wasn’t clear whether it was the alcohol or your sleepiness, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open and your brain working.

“Let’s talk when we’re both sober,” he suggested after seeing you were almost out. So he kissed your forehead and walked out of your room.

.

“Here,” Kyungsoo handed you a glass of water once you sat down on the counter stool, head on your hands.

“How come you’re fine?” your voice came out hoarse.

He placed two bowls of bean sprout soup, one in front of you and another beside you, “I didn’t drink as much or fast as you monsters.”

Turned out Chanyeol was also awake, and sat next to you with a groan, immediately chewing down the soup served for him.

“Eat and drink this after, you’ll feel better afterward,” Kyungsoo gave a bottle of hangover drink to you and Chanyeol each.

“You’re working?” you asked after taking the first bite, noticing he was already dressed. Well, dressed the way he usually dresses. Thick glasses, black sweater, and black jeans, his favorite hat and mask were on the table ready to be grabbed on the way out.

He was looking to his phone, “Yes, aaand I gotta go. My manager’s here. See you later,” he patted both your backs before putting on his hat, mask, and bag. And he was gone.

“Your head hurts?” Chanyeol spoke for the first time this morning, noticing your winces.

“A bit. I think I drank too much,” you grinned. “And I know for a fact you drank as much as I did. How are you fine?”

“Oh trust me, I’m not. But after hearing Sehun’s whining nonstop on our every morning schedules for almost 8 years, this headache’s nothing,” he simpered.

After finishing your soups, Chanyeol grabbed your bowls to clean it. “About last night ..” he prompted after the dishes were done.

“Hm? What about last night?”

Chanyeol turned around and tilted his head, “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Our talk? After I put you to bed?”

Your eyebrows were pulled together, eyes focusing at nothing, trying to think. The last thing you remembered were Chanyeol’s warmth and hold, Kyungsoo’s unexpected sex life. You recalled Sehun dozing off, then Kyungsoo too. And then you asked Chanyeol to take you to bed, he picked you up. What about the talk? Your eyes widened at the realization you asked him about the kiss, and he actually said, that he liked you.

Chanyeol smiled amusedly, “You remember now?” He came closer to stand in front of you, bending over so your eyes met.

You gulped, “Yeah.”

He was still smiling, eyes warm, “I’m not asking for an answer. I do like you. I do want to date you. But I know, you might not be ready, and I get it,” he paused to ponder for a bit, “And I know you probably don’t feel the same like I do, yet,” he winked at the last word, “But I’m willing to wait.” Chanyeol straightened his body, “And besides, I’m gonna be very busy in the next few months. I can’t really ask you out on real dates, unfortunately. After all that though, I am gonna ask you out for real,” he went back to his original position, “Then you can give me your answer,” He ruffled your hair affectionately. “I’m going to wake Sehun, we have an impromptu meeting in about 2 hours,” before leaving still with his wide smile.

You on the other hand, were flabbergasted at the confession. You had too many thoughts on your mind, yet too hangover to think logically. So you texted Baekhyun, your -sometimes- voice of reason. Back then, when the guys were too busy or too tired, you would turn to him with your life dramas. And other than being perceptive, he also gave great advice. If people wondered why Kyungsoo could be friends with him who was his total opposite, these are the things they have in common. Observant and good insights.

**_You [10:15] :_ **

_Oppa, you’re free today?_

_Can you come over?_

_Or I could come to your place or we could go out instead, anywhere’s fine x_

The reply came almost instantly

**_Baekkie [10:15] :_ **

_MY FAVORITE GIRL HEY <3<3<3<3_

_SUREE I’LL COME OVER_

_LET’S EAT PIZZA_

_Oh wait I should be on diet. I can’t._

_What? No! I’m on a break!_

_Oh did I tell you? I’m taking a break!_

_For about 2-3 months_

_So I’m gonna be freee!!!_

_Expect me in your house a lot!_

_Wait no_

_I’d rather visit Yixing._

_OHHH I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU YET_

_WE’RE OFFICIALLY BOYFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND_

_HE ASKED LIKE YESTERDAY AND I OF COURSE SAID YES <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3_

_SO YEAH DEFINITELY PIZZA TODAY_

_YOU’RE BUYING_

_IM COMING AROUND LUNCHTIME_

_DONT FORGET THE CHICKEN WINGS AND EXTRA CHEESE_

_OH HAWAIIAN PIZZA FOR MEEEE YAY_

**_You [10:17] :_ **

_Wow you type fast_

_Eww pineapple on pizza is the worst_

_:p_

You ignored the next angry texts from the overexcited puppy to take a shower instead. Sehun was on his phone when you walked in.

“You wanna shower first?” you asked him.

He shook his head, “You go ahead. I need water and a hangover drink.”

“It’s in the fridge, and Kyungsoo cooked too,” you informed before getting in the bathroom.

You stood under the running water, head also running wild. You truly hoped Baekhyun could bring the clarity you needed.

.

Today was tiring to say the least. But Sehun was grateful. At least he could go home earlier than his older bandmates. The schedule ended sooner than expected, but his oldest hyung had to deal with his newest project, his Youtube channel. His other hyung also had to stay late for an acting class. Sehun never said it out loud, but he’s super proud of his hardworking brothers.

He entered the house finding the common room empty but kinda messy. Then he remembered you saying Baekhyun would come over today. He went to the fridge, looking for something to eat. There were some pizza slices left. It was cold, but Sehun was too tired to heat it up, more like too lazy to wait. So he ate the cold piece with a grimace on his face. At least it still tasted like pizza, so he didn’t mind. He was just going to fill his stomach a bit before sleeping till tomorrow. His body deserved it.

As he got near the door of your shared bedroom with him, his ear caught some noises. Some kind of whimper, heavy breathing. His steps slowed down as his brain thought. Were you hurt? Were you having a nightmare? But then something changed his mind. Moaning. Your voice moaning out, “Ahh fuck.” His cheeks reddened, becoming more awake than he was before. But then he thought, were you with Baekhyun? Or other guys? Who? Yixing? Or Baekhyun and Yixing?

He almost slapped his own cheek at the thought. But he blushed deeper, now had an image in his head, you sandwiched between two guys. This time he did slap his cheek. He contemplated his options. Should he leave or just wait in the other room? But he was also curious who you were with. So he got closer to the door, to listen in. No other people’s voice. Only yours.

As he kept listening to your pleasured voice, the more curious he became. What you were doing to yourself, were you using any toys or just your fingers. His curiosity got the best of him, as his hand slowly opened the door before he could stop himself.

As the door opened, he felt his dick twitched in his pants, blood rushing south. There you were, lying down, legs spread wide in the middle of the bed, eyes shut, bottomless, only wearing a shirt with no bra, one hand fondling your breast, another down on your vagina. His eyes traveled along your body as they stopped at your right hand. Two fingers pumping in and out of yourself, slick sounds filling around the room accompanying your desperate whine as you were nearing your climax.

He thought he shouldn’t be turned on by this right? He’s gay?

He once was told that he tends to think with his dick. And maybe they were right. As right now, he couldn’t hear any of his thoughts, his feet had their own thoughts and stepped closer. He gripped your wrist stopping your fingers that were moving erratically around your clit, chasing your high. You yelped when he did, eyes wide open.

Before you could ask or say anything, Sehun spoke lowly, “Let me help you,” as his mouth got closer to your core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really proud of the first half of this chapter, but all's fine :)
> 
> sorry if this took too long :( and the steamy part will be in the next chapter hehe. the first part got a bit lengthy so sorry for that :( 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kind words. you guys don't know how much they mean to me <3<3
> 
> this chapter's not my favorite, but I did finish editing at 6 am :) it's currently 10 am and i haven't slept yet :(
> 
> ps : for those who have asked about Sehun's sexuality, it would be explored more in the next chapter. and I'm sorry in advance if I'd make some errors or inaccuracies. I'm just a normal boring straight who doesn't have any gay/lesbian/bi friends (because of the stupidly very conservative and homophobic country I live in) so my sources are purely quora and twitter :)
> 
> anyway come chat on twitter (or here too it's fineee) @shipbullshitnjh I'm not too active, i mostly use twitter for updates only. if anyone wants to talk to me that is :))
> 
> for all the mistakes I'm sorry :( but enjoy reading this! <3


	11. Chapter 11

“You don’t really hate pineapples on pizza do you? Cause if you do I swear I would walk out of this house,” the first thing Baekhyun said when you opened the door.

You chuckled at his priority list, “I don’t mind it actually. When cooked properly it tastes good,” you replied before hugging him.

Baekhyun smiled wide, “I knew you were my favorite.”

The food arrived before him, and Baekhyun went straight to pick a slice.

You went to get him something to drink, as he devoured the pizza. “God, does Yixing never feed you?” you shook your head seeing him holding a wing on his other hand. “You haven’t even washed your hand yet.”

Of course, he didn’t care. He continued to eat, not even once stopping to talk, only moaning and mumbling about how good the pizza is.

“So, how did he ask you?” you asked him regarding his new and fresh relationship status after you both finished eating and put the leftovers in the fridge. You two settled on the carpet, the TV running but not watched.

“OOH! So, we went on a date right, and I’ve been waiting, since it has been a few months since we met and we clearly like each other,” he said animatedly, Baekhyun-like-style, “And last night, we were having dinner in my place, when suddenly, he gave me a ring,” he beamed showing you a ring on his ring finger.

Your eyes popped with the surprise, grabbing his hand, “YOU’RE ENGAGED?”

“No! Not yet at least,” he winked, “But he said it’s some kind of a promise ring. A bit too fast, maybe, but he said he had never been this sure about someone this fast, and honestly, never had I,” he finished with a million-dollar smile.

“Baekhyun, I am sooooo happy for you,” you reached out to hug him.

“Girl, I’m happy for me too,” he pulled away, “All thanks to you,” and then kissed your cheek.

You smiled at him, genuinely elated for both of them. “All I did was taking you along with me.”

And truly, you were happy and excited for the both of them. A friend you could tell everything to, and a new friend you found solace in. Baekhyun and Yixing were two sides of a coin, one being someone who doesn’t know how to stop talking and another being a really good listener. Back when you were still in the shitshow part of your life, Yixing was the one you ran to. He knew how your ex treated you, and he hated himself for not doing anything, that he still reminded you with his apologizing eyes every time you met. And for him to be with Baekhyun, someone who seems shallow on the surface but actually is very sensitive and perceptive, you were sure they would make a great couple. Yixing who would not say more than a few words explaining what he feels and Baekhyun who would just understand him. Seeing how Yixing gave Baekhyun a promise ring only months after meeting him and Baekhyun accepting it with joy, told you they were also happy with each other.

He squeezed your body once more, before looking you dead in the eyes, “Now tell me, what’s bothering you.”

You groaned, “I seriously hate how easy it is for you and Kyungsoo to read people.”

“But he wouldn’t ask you about it, so it became my job,” he winked again.

You propped your chin with both your hands, pouting. “I was just gonna lie to you, and ask you an advice ‘my friend’ was having, but I guess that would never work, huh?”

He grinned, “Not a chance. You’re too easy to figure out.”

You huffed, “Okay. I guess I should just be honest then.” You straightened your posture, “But, if you’re so good, then guess why am I troubled?”

“Hmm.. You’ve only come to me regarding love and work. Considering that you’re jobless now,” you cut him off with a light hit on his thigh, “Then it must be love.”

“What kind of love problem then?” you cocked your head, challenging him. There’s no way he’d guess right, right?

“Love dilemma. ‘Should I or should I not date him?’ kinda dilemma. Hm?”

No way. Your jaw slowly dropped, and his victorious face came on. “Do you read people’s minds?”

He laughed Baekhyun-style, loud and mouth wide open, “Oh, your face. I might be a genius, but I’m no psychic.” He grasped your hand, “Chanyeol called last night.”

“He.. he di-did?” you stuttered. “What did he say?”

“He told me he wanted to tell you he likes you. Well, he sounded drunk so I didn’t think he would go through with it, and truthfully, I was drunk too, from different things though,” He felt the need to elaborate after seeing you confused, “He was drunk because of alcohol, I was drunk because of pleasure. Gosh Yixing is truly God’s favorite.”

You grimaced after realizing the meaning behind Baekhyun’s words, but then you also missed the kind of feelings Yixing gave Baekhyun last night. “Must be nice for you.”

“You could also be drunk on pleasure like I was if you said yes to Chanyeol, you know.”

You took a deep breath, “He didn’t really ask me out though.”

“Yeah, he updated me this morning. But it should’ve been better, right? He’s not asking for any answer. You have no burden on your shoulders.”

“Baekhyun, do you know what my specialty is?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Yes, just like the one and only, Mr. Do Kyungsoo. The overthinkers.”

“Thanks,” you said sarcastically. “But I just can’t help it!”

“How far did you think ahead?”

So you spilled your thoughts since the first time you kissed.

“Well, firstly, we’re best friends that live together with our other two best friends. If we got into a relationship, it would not just be purely a relationship between us two, correct? It would include the other two as well, whether everyone wants it or not.” You ran your fingers through your hair frustratingly, the thoughts from this morning all came back. “And what if we broke up? Then one of us would have to move out. Or let’s say we could be mature enough to be civil around each other. But hard feelings would always linger. And when we fight, and I’m not being narcissistic or anything, but I am 99% sure Sehun would pick my side, and then what? They’d fight? What about their band then? Would they break up too? And okay let’s say the breakup was my fault. But Sehun wouldn’t stop being friends with me. And what? He’ll just keep meeting someone that hurt his best mate? And it would be even worse if he caused the breakup. Like I just..”

Baekhyun cut you off by grabbing both your shoulders, “You’re hyperventilating.” You looked at him with wide eyes, his own portraying worry. “Breath. Deeply. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. One more time,” he guided you.

After seeing that you were calmed down, he pulled you closer, your head on his shoulder. “I know you’re scared. But all of the things you said were all ‘ifs’. No guarantee any of those would happen. And you would never know until you tried it, no?” he spoke softly. He pulled you away to look you in the eyes, “And it’s not like he’s pressuring you into anything right? He’s giving you, and himself, time to figure out your feelings.”

“So what do you think I should do?”

“Try to open your heart for him? I mean it’s not hard to like him, if I say so myself.”

You huffed, “That’s exactly why I’m scared. I liked him once, you know,” you confessed.

“Really? When?”

“When we first met. I mean, I didn’t have any other friends other than Sehun. And then I met two extremely handsome guys. It was only natural to have a crush on them.”

“Kyungsoo too?”

You nodded, dejected.

He chuckled, “They told me the story when Sehun got mad ‘cause Chanyeol was asking his permission to take you on a date. And understandable that you liked them. I too have had silly crushes on all of them. They’re stupidly and uselessly too handsome, I know.”

You laughed at that, “They are. And too nice and too good too.”

“I’ve been waiting for this conversation you know.”

“Hm?”

“Okay, listen,” Baekhyun started, “All of you are four gorgeous and attractive people who are friends, close friends, and now live together. It’s only a matter of time before feelings bloom. There is no way in hell no one of you never felt anything for each other.”

You pondered at his words for a while. You have had liked all three of them, Chanyeol said that he liked you too. Does that mean it’s possible for Kyungsoo and Sehun to also had feelings for any of you? Maybe not Sehun, cause he’s gay?

“I’m surprised, and a bit disappointed, there’s no love triangle between y’all honestly.” He deserved a pinch to his arm for that. “Aw! But you know I love and live for dramas.”

“I’m gonna ignore that comment. But, okay. I’ll try to see him more than just a friend. I mean, he’s a good kisser, that’s a great thing to start with.”

“Wait, hold up,” Baekhyun blinked at you a couple of times, “Good kisser? How do you.. y-you KISSED?” he yelled to your face.

“I thought he told you?” you said rubbing your ears that were truly hurt because of how loud he was.

“About he likes you, yes. Nothing about the kiss! When! How! Where! How many times!” he pressed excitedly.

You chuckled at his enthusiasm, “Like 3 days ago? After the dinner.”

“Okay, okay. Let me breathe,” he did, dramatically. “Full story, young lady. I demand the full story from the start!”

So you told him everything. From the shock about Jongin being the youngest of the four Kim, Chanyeol who felt left out, and of course the climax of the story, the kiss.

Baekhyun listened carefully, not even cutting off once, which was unusual for someone who never shuts up. When you finished, he was rubbing his chin, lips pursed, looking deep in thought.

“Okay, so Jongin is your ex, then he left. And he turned out to be Jongdae’s younger brother, which no one ever met because he was in America for years. And when he was apologizing, Chanyeol appeared and then you talked then kissed.” he said with wide eyes, “Girl your life is a whole K-drama.”

“Tell me about it.”

Baekhyun was staring at you, then he clapped. “Your life deserves a daesang for best drama of the year,” He almost stood up to do award-shows-like standing applause, which you stopped with a tug on his sleeve.

“Sit, drama queen.”

He got into a laughing fit, which annoyed you a little bit. His laugh was so contagious, but you still couldn’t join in his joy.

“Glad you find it hilarious, let’s just ignore the very stressed person in this room,” you side-eyed him.

“Right, sorry,” he dramatically wiped his tears of joy, “Let me ask you this, you’ve liked him once, can you see liking him again in near future?”

You paused for a few seconds before timidly answered, “I mean, yeah, probably.”

“Then just go with it, go with what your heart tells you.”

But that’s the thing. Your heart told you to get more kisses, which something your brain always opposed. Your heart wants to be happy, while your head wants to be safe. And sadly in this case, safe and happy couldn’t sit at the same table.

“Spill what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, pretty.”

So you did. And the fucker had the audacity to laugh again.

“Sorry, sorry,” he stopped after you pinched his arm, “Then just kiss him, silly! It’s not like he’s gonna ask you to marry him after a kiss or something. Just enjoy being youths in love.”

“First pretty, then silly,” your eyes rolled, “And by the way, we’re no youths. We’re nearing 30, especially you,” you stuck out your tongue at him.

“Hey, no age-shaming,” he glared. “BUT! On to the most important part of this lunch of ours. Let’s thirst for him, I swear I won’t laugh!” he said the last part after seeing your hand moved closer to his arm again. “Oh come on. Do you expect me to believe you’ve stopped thinking about his fingers? His long, and veiny and, thick, and ..”

“OKAY, I GET IT! And heck I hope I could stop, okay!” you interrupted.

“Chill girl. It’s natural. He is objectively blessed with his physical features. Even if I was straight, I’d still consider banging him,” Baekhyun replied nonchalantly. “Oh by the way, if you’ve liked everyone, why haven’t you ever acted on it?”

“Well, Sehun’s gay,” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow at that, “And also very protective. He asked million of questions about guys I dated. I didn’t introduce him to Jongin because of how he reacted when Chanyeol liked me, other than that they were busy. I guess he thinks of me as a sister.”

“Yeahhhh. No one has sex with their sister,” he stated. As you were about to talk, he stopped you, “Okay so Sehun’s protective. I understand. Any other reasons?”

“The same reason I’m a mess today.”

Baekhyun nodded, muttering, “I hate you overthinkers.”

You laughed, “Same.”

“So, what’s your decision?”

“Umm.. just.. enjoy it? The courting thing? I don’t know. My brain’s kinda fried.”

Baekhyun hummed, he raised his arm to pat your head, “Definitely enjoy it, you deserve it.”

You nodded while Baekhyun turned on the TV, saying you should watch this series on Netflix. You cozied up on the sofa, but your mind was still in shambles, you tried your hardest focusing on the playing show. But focusing while having to constantly listening to Baekhyun’s comments on the actors’ hairs and outfits proved to be a hard work, so you reached for your buzzing phone, indicating new messages. Turned out, there were new ones in the group chat, now named ‘sehun stop’, because he thinks it’s fine to change the group name every single day.

**_soo-ft [13:05] :_ **

_Guys, I’m gonna be late tonight. I have an extra acting class._

**_oshun [13:05] :_ **

_hmm, I think we are too. Chan-hyung and I are currently arguing with the producers *eyeroll emoji*_

**_soo-ft [13:05] :_ **

_Yet you’re still on your phone?_

_Is it about you both wanting to produce the album yourselves?_

**_oshun [13:05] :_ **

_more like chanyeol hyung’s studio, im just participating_

_we’re on a break. lol chan hyung really splashed water all over his head cause he was sooOO mad_

**_soo-ft [13:06] :_ **

_well what’s new right?_

_@You don’t wait up, have dinner without us. We’ll see you tonight_

_Gotta go_

**_loHey [13:07] :_ **

_guys, let’s make a pact. Once we earned enough money, we’re making our own company. SM’s shit._

_I’m gonna ask dae and baek to join_

**_oshun [13:07] :_ **

_ooohh! I’ll recruit someone too_

_hey, let’s have a game room in our building_

_and movie room! Let’s make the best entertainment building!_

**_loHey [13:07] :_ **

_it’s still an office sehun_

_and how should people focus on their jobs? No game or movie room._

**_You [13:08] :_ **

_are you guys texting when you’re next to each other?_

**_oshun [13:08] :_ **

_oh my fav person’s here_

_hey I think I’m off tomorrow, let’s go shopping?_

**_loHey [13:08] :_ **

_you’re not off tomorrow @oshun we still have some meetings_

**_oshun [13:09] :_ **

_bummer_

**_loHey [13:09] :_ **

_oh @You, I don’t think I’m going home tonight, I have to do that youtube thing_

**_You [13:09] :_ **

_Oohh okayy. You’re gonna sleep in your studio?_

**_loHey [13:10] :_ **

_yupp_

_gotta go, they’re here_

_see you tomorrow ;) xx_

**_You [13:10] :_ **

_okay, don’t forget to eat all of you. See you guys when I see you xx_

_and good luck!!_

After no more messages to be read, you went to the kitchen to grab some juice for Baekhyun and yourself. When you were pouring the juice, your phone buzzed again. But it was not a message, rather a Twitter dm from Baekhyun. You opened it with your brows furrowed. He sent you a.. twitter thread?

Oh. Fuck.

It was a thread of Chanyeol’s fingers and arms.

“You fucker.”

.

It was almost 8 when you finished having a shower. And you were bored. Of course you had a book that you still had no idea what to write about, and of course the endless series Baekhyun recommended- he literally emailed you a 16 pages word document of series and movies on Netflix and Disney+ complete with the reasons why. Turned out he asked his manager (poor his manager) to compile recommended titles, from websites, social media, and everywhere pretty much. But really, watching is not really something you felt like doing. The two months when the house was constantly empty with the boys’ many schedules, you watched everything you could watch.

You let your phone fell beside you, your body was sprawled on the bed. Somehow -most likely Baekhyun’s fault for teasing you nonstop this afternoon- you found yourself thinking back to your kiss with Chanyeol. And everything happened that night rushed back in. Unconsciously rubbing your lips, your body heating up, arousal pooling between your folds.

Hesitations filled your mind. It seems a bit inappropriate to touch yourself in a house you didn’t pay rent for, a bed you didn’t own, a space you shared with 3 other people. But it’s supposed to be okay, it’s normal to feel this way, right?

The lust in your mind won, especially after realizing the guys were coming home late. You told yourself it’s okay to seek for pleasure. So with shaking hands, caused by the nervousness and excitement, you freed yourself of your shorts and panties.

Your hands found your breasts first, happy you chose to go braless, cupped and massaged them. When one hand went lower to where you needed relief the most, the other teased a nipple with light pinches. You shivered when your fingers started rubbing your clit, your breath became uneven.

As your head kept reminding you how good Chanyeol’s bulge in his jeans felt against your clothed core, your fingers automatically started to draw circles giving more pleasure. Your mouth felt left out, you moved your hand from your chest, and sucked in two fingers, imagining they were Chanyeol’s. Needing to feel more, you put two fingers in slowly.

A deep moan left your lips, your other hand back to your breast. You pumped in and out, slow but deep. Your head was full of Chanyeol’s fingers and dick. Not that you’ve seen it, but seeing how big his other body parts are, and from what you could make out from grinding on him, his size is definitely above average. Maybe thicker than most too. You moaned at the thought of Chanyeol’s dick filling you up.

Your fingers alternated between your clit and inside you, both needing attention and pleasure. As your climax was nearing, you felt a hand on your wrist, and you physically could feel your heart dropped when you saw Sehun, eyes not leaving your wet core.

“Let me help you,” he said.

When you were about to protest about how wrong this was and how sorry you were, you felt his breath fanning over your most sensitive part and your mind blanked as pleasure took over your body as he dived in and kissed your swollen clit. Your opened mouth that was about to stop him, let out a breathy moan, encouraging the man below you to continue.

Sehun’s tongue licked around your folds, lapping at the slick and wetness that decorated your sex. You gasped as you could feel his tongue inside, he smirked cockily. His tongue then trailed up finding your clit again, his finger teasing your entrance. As you moaned when he sucked your clit. He stopped and looked up at you, “Is this okay?”

“If you stop now, I seriously will kill you,” To hell with guilt and inappropriateness. It has been so long, too long, and you needed it.

He chuckled and dived back right in, his tongue on your clit and middle finger slowly pushing inside you. You moaned at the feeling of a long finger inside you, hands fisting the sheets. His forefinger joined in the first, your back arched with pleasure.

“More, one more,” you breathlessly said, feeling your orgasm nearing.

And Sehun complied. Three fingers thrusting in and out of you, tongue flicking and teasing your clit, your whole body felt heated. Sehun’s hum as he took you in his mouth was your last push as the vibration sent you over the edge. Your hand flew to your mouth, covering the whimper and moans as you reached orgasm. Sehun slowed down his ministrations as he felt you coming, your thighs trapped Sehun’s head and your whole body shuddered.

He pulled out his fingers, as he eyed his fingers that were coated with your juice. Liking how you tasted, he put each of his fingers inside his mouth with closed eyes, thoroughly enjoying the salty yet sweet taste. You moaned at the sight as you were coming down. He stared at your afterglow with his half-lidded eyes.

“Sehun,” you whined, wanting and needing more. And suddenly Sehun’s bubble burst at you calling his name. His fingers escaped his lips and his eyes popped open. He moved away from the bed, caused you to get on your elbow, confused by his reaction.

“Fuck,” he hissed, “I.. I’m sorry,” he ran his fingers through his hair, visibly frustrated. “Shit I should’ve just.. fuck,” he cussed, defeated.

He tried to get up, but your hand automatically stopped him by his arm. Your eyes met, both filled with worry and lust. You tried to find words to say, but came with none. Instead, you pulled him closer, until he hovered above your horizontal body. His eyes never left yours, brows still furrowed and tight lips still. Your hands went up to the back of his neck, slowly and gently pulling him closer as your eyes flickered to Sehun’s lips. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down when he watched you licking your lips. You were only a couple inches away as Sehun was slowly giving up to you.

“Are you sure about this?” Sehun breathed to your parting lips, eyes now focusing on them.

“Yes,” you stated as you connected your lips to his.

The kiss was slow and hesitant, Sehun not moving his lips. Feeling a burst of confidence, mostly because you were getting hot again, you ran your tongue over his lips, reassuring him you were fine.

Sehun was still hesitant when he slowly kissed back. But his mind was blocking his thoughts, the smell of sex in the room affected it, and his body took over. Slowly but surely, no thoughts were left in both your heads, only how good it felt to kiss each other and that more was needed.

After putting aside worries and doubts, the kiss turned hotter and deeper. You whimpered when Sehun’s hand started to explore your body, as did yours. Tongues got involved in the kiss, you tasted each other in the process. You could still taste yourself when you gently sucked his tongue between your lips. He groaned when you did that.

Both of you stopped when you tried to undress him. When his shirt came off, he sat between your legs, eyes focusing on yours.

And this time you asked, “Do you want this?” as you realized you never asked for his consent.

“As long as you want this,” he said pulling you up to sit on his lap.

His lips once again settled on yours, hands went under your shirt, massaging the soft skin on your hips. Your hands also went down to his pants, mumbling “Off” on his lips when you reached his jeans button. He helped you getting rid of it, ended up on your back again and he took the chance to kiss your neck.

“No marks,” you hissed when he nibbled on your sweet spot.

When he was done with your neck, he removed the only left fabric on your body, leaving you bare in front of him. With hooded eyes he checked out your breasts, embarrassment kicked in.

“Hey, no. They’re beautiful,” he half chuckled as he stopped your hands from covering them, “It’s just been years since I saw boobs.”

With flushed cheeks you let him took one breast in his palm, “Hmm, mine are the only ones you’ve seen, you can’t say they’re pretty.”

“Not the only ones,” he simply said as the tip of his fingers hesitantly played with your nipple.

“You had sex with other girls?” you asked almost breathlessly, his actions making it hard to focus.

“Hmm, how about I tell you afterwards and let me make you feel good first, yeah?”

And you couldn’t answer, not when his lips clasped around your nipple, sucking it gently. He took your moaning as an agreement.

“Am I doing it right?” he asked. And again, you couldn’t answer, only nodded with your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Then don’t hold back. You sound amazing,” he kissed you, now taking control. He parted your lips with his tongue, tangling your own, while his fingers made their way back down, a low moan escaped your mouth when he inserted 2 fingers. “Pretty.”

Sehun moved his lips back to your breasts, when you rocked your hips against his fingers. Feeling impatient, you turned him around, straddling his hips. The kiss continued, you were also rubbing yourself against his hard rock member. Both of you let out low moans because of the frictions.

You made your way down, face to his crotch, hands tugging down his underwear. Your jaw dropped when his dick sprung out and hit his abs, your movements stopped.

“Is something wrong? Do you wanna stop?” he looked at you with worried face.

“You know what? It’s not fair!” you exclaimed, Sehun’s face turned confused. “How the hell you got taller AND bigger while I’m still stuck with my height and bra size from high school!”

He just laughed, “But your boobs are great, don’t worry!”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Like I said, you’re not a good judge for this.”

He was still laughing seeing you pouted with annoyance. So you did a thing that could just shut him up, you put your hand around the base of his dick, stroking up painfully slow. As expected, Sehun stopped laughing when he choked on air. You smirked when your eyes met.

“Fuck,” he threw his head back when your tongue circled around the head.

Sehun tried his hardest to hold back from grabbing a hold of your hair to force you to go down when you kept teasing the tip with kittenish licks and slight pecks. When you finally went down on him, his hips jolted upwards. You gave his abs a push as a warning, as in telling him to let you do all the work. You were definitely not ready to be mouth-fucked with his size. As you took all of him inside your mouth, his breath hitched. You started to bop your head around his length, a hand fondling his balls.

“Shit, you’re good,” the compliment made you smile. You released him with a pop, kissing his tip as in saying ‘Thanks’. You continued your ministrations to his dick with your mouth and hand, no teasing, straight to the point. You’ve missed this feeling, someone moaning out your name, you got no time for teasing.

When you went faster he moaned loudly, and he grabbed a fist of your hair. Not too rough he pulled you away from his dick. “Don’t wanna come too soon.” He guided you up, kissing you deeply, licked into your mouth.

“Wait, condom?” you asked pulling away from him.

“Wallet, back pocket,” he answered while kissing your neck.

You reached out to his discarded pants to get the item in question. You handed it to him and he in an instant put it on his dick.

“I’m gonna ride you, yeah?” you said to his ear, nibbling on it softly. Your hand once again found his member, running it around your wet entrance.

You sat up straight, hand still around his dick, as you slowly descended on him. Loud moans came out both your lips as he filled you up. When your hips met his, you shuddered at the fullness. Sehun was truly well endowed. The right thickness and longer than anyone you’ve had before. After a few seconds of getting used to his size, you slowly moved, up and down.

On the other hand, Sehun was too worked up for the pace you were setting. When he thought you were ready, he thrust his hips up when you were sinking down on him, making you shriek. You felt so full and so good. After that Sehun kept moving his hips up, and one particular hard thrust made you almost screamed if you weren’t biting your own lip. You lost your power and fell onto him when he again snapped his hips hard.

“Can I fuck you now?” he breathed into your ear, which you could only answer with a breathless, “Please.”

He cupped your jaw and kissed you as he turned you around. He started to thrust into you with an unforgiving speed. The tingling sensation you haven’t felt in so long, the bliss you felt from getting fucked was finally, thankfully, returned to your stomach.

Sehun stopped kissing you to utter some incoherent words, something like ‘Fuck so good, so warm, tight,’ and stuff that you couldn’t understand as you could also hear yourself muttering jumbled words in between your moans.

Mind full of lust, you said, “Sehun, fingers.” His brows furrowed deeper, not understanding your words. And you took matters into your own hands, you grabbed his hand, sucking in two of his fingers, your tongue swirling around them. And fuck did Sehun find that action hot. He got a heavenly show in front of him. Your eyes squeezed shut, eyebrows knit tightly, plump lips around his fingers.

Fuck he wouldn’t last long.

And thank heavens, neither would you.

You started rubbing your clit, your back arched from the added pleasure. And not long, after his thrust became erratic and his moans got louder, you came first while chanting Sehun’s name like a mantra, still muffled by Sehun’s fingers. You were a shaking mess underneath him, he had to stop his thrusts until you were coming down from your high, kissing your shoulder instead. Sehun continued thrusting, and followed soon hitting his peak after feeling you tightening around him. And what was left was the sound of your breathing.

He pecked your lips before pulling out of you. “Stay put,” he said after noticing you were about to get up. Not that you were complaining, you were sure your legs were wobbly and you most probably would fall if you tried to walk.

He tied the used condom, put on his boxers, threw away the condom, and disappeared into the bathroom. He came back with a wet towel and a glass of water. He handed you the glass, and spread your legs open. Being a brat that he was, he licked the sensitive flesh, earning a hissed sound from you.

“You just taste good,” and he had the audacity to smirk. He then used the towel to wipe you clean. Afterwards he helped you put on your shirt and panties.

“Feeling like spooning?” he asked as he finished cleaning up.

“Always.”

So he spooned you.

You felt the uneasiness in your brain, Sehun was also radiating the same mood. But both of you were too tired to talk about everything.

“Let’s just talk about this tomorrow, yeah? I’m too tired,” he said nuzzling into your neck.

“Hmm. Same.”

Sehun chuckled, “You’re tired too? If I remember correctly I was the one who did all the work.”

You elbowed his stomach lightly which made him laugh harder. “Remember the part-time job I was telling you about?” You started while closing your tired eyes.

“Hmm, being a scriptwriter for a Youtuber or something right?”

You hummed before continuing, “I took the job. Been doing research and watching her videos since Baekhyun left. And hanging out with him is no easy job. He has tons of energy that I simply don’t.”

He once again laughed. “Then sleep.”

And you did.

.

The talk didn’t happen until the next night. Sehun and Chanyeol had another meeting till late. You were ready to go to bed when he came home.

“So you got a finger kink or something?” he started when he finished showering and he lied down next to you.

“Fuck you,” you bit back.

He chuckled and took you in his arms, your head was on his chest. “Do you regret what happened?”

“No,” you answered truthfully. “Do you?”

“No.”

With Sehun’s fingers between your hair, you asked him what bugged you the most. “Aren’t you gay?”

“Yes.”

“Then why?”

Sehun was quiet for a moment before answering, “Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe I’m not 100% gay? I don’t know either. I mean do girls turn me on usually? No,” he confessed. “All I know is that you’re beautiful, and watching you last night made me hot too.”

It was your turn to be quiet. But then you remembered what Sehun said last night. “You had sex with other girls?”

“Right,” he let out a breath, “After we had sex, it was my first time right, it made me even more confused. Cause ever since I could remember I always felt attracted to boys, but I enjoyed our sex. I thought maybe because it’s just you know, sex. So then I slept with another girl, like a week after that, jackass move I know. But it was completely different. I didn’t enjoy any seconds of it. That’s why I was extremely confused and disappeared about a week to think about everything before I finally came out.”

You remembered that week, the week you thought Sehun would finally ask you out, but no, he just disappeared and told you he was gay afterwards. You pinched his thigh for that.

“Again, I’m sorry for that, really am.”

You smiled, have genuinely forgiven him for that. And you were truly proud of him. “So what makes me different than the other girl?”

Sehun was hesitant, thinking hard before answering, “Because I love you?”

You hummed. He sounded uncertain, but you were too. Your heart was going through something you couldn’t pinpoint. There were these odd sensations you felt towards the tall man after what happened last night, and that scared you.

You turned your head to face him, staring back into his eyes. “Can we kiss?”

So you kissed. A long chaste kiss. And you ignored the butterflies on your stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK i know it's been so long I'm sorry :( but here is chapter 11!!
> 
> it's still a bit confusing now, I know, I'm sorry, but we'll get there soon I promiseee!!
> 
> lately I've been unmotivated to write and that's why this chapter took a very long time, but I am determined to finish this story and I hope i could keep my own promises <3<3<3


End file.
